House of Lords reform: a non-baron writes

Oh no, I'm not bitter about the fact that, had the positions been reversed, Ros would have become a Lady.

Actually, I'm not. It does seem a bit quirky, but signing off letters from HM Revenue & Customs, "Yours faithfully, Baron Valladares of Needham Market", might, I fear, give people the wrong impression about our new and dynamic UK tax administration.

On the other hand, I do have a view about the Ministry of Justice's new publication, "The Governance of Britain - An Elected Second Chamber: Further reform of the House of Lords", one of the most vacuous documents ever published, even by the standards of this government. Eleven years in power, a clear mandate for reform, and you sense that any radicalism that might have been left is now utterly dissipated.

So, let's see what their conclusions are...

3.6 The reformed second chamber should take account of the prevailing political view amongst the electorate, but also provide opportunities for independent and minority views to be represented.

Hmm... if we rewrite it in the negative... The reformed second chamber need not reflect the view of voters... alright, entirely motherhood and apple pie so far...

4.30 The Government would welcome views on the size of the second chamber.

Pardon me? Isn't this a White Paper? What do you mean, you don't know? For God's sake, you're the government, you've got a majority. So use it!

4.41 There was strong consensus in the Cross-Party Group for, and the Government proposes that there should be, direct elections to the second chamber.

Hallelujah, at least most of the hereditaries didn't die in vain...

4.80 The Government believes that further consideration should be given to the following voting systems options for elections to the second chamber:

• a First Past the Post system;


• an Alternative Vote system;


• a Single Transferable Vote system; or


• an open or semi-open list system.

As opposed to naked arm-wrestling, synchronised bungy-jumping or a silly walk competition. Actually, I know, we could do it as a political version of Jeux San Frontieres, where candidates could dress up as penguins and try and fill buckets with water coming from a tap eight feet off of the ground whilst standing on a greased turntable. It would certainly keep costs down...

4.87 The Government believes that there should be a process to fill vacancies and would welcome views on what those arrangements should be.

Bless, isn't it wonderful that they believe that voters shouldn't go without representation...

From there on in, the document is a morass of entirely reasonable, if mechanistic, set of proposals, most of which are unlikely to offend particularly.

The question of what happens to those Life Peers already elevated to the second chamber is addressed by means of a series of options. There is a moral dimension to this, in that these individuals have been sent there for life. You could argue that a contract has been entered into but, given that the average age of members of the House of Lords is sixty-eight, the actuarial bottom line is that death will take care of the problem in comparatively short order. That, and a modestly generous redundancy package, would probably satisfy the contractual obligation, and ensure that a reformed second chamber would be mostly elected by 2020.

For psephology geeks out there, Annex 2 considers what the make up of a reformed second chamber might be based on the results of the 2005 General Election. Putting aside the fact that, if current opinion polls are correct, the tables serve no useful purpose whatsoever, they do indicate that any proposal that calls for first past the post or alternative vote should be actively opposed by anyone other than Conservative or Labour supporters.

The Annex also indicates how the reformed second chamber would have looked after each election since 1974, and shows how we have advanced as a party since then.

And so, what are the prospects for House of Lords reform? Labour consider this to be an issue for their next term. The Conservatives view - something for a third term. On that basis, I expect to be married to a member of the House of Lords for some time to come...

A homecoming queen, make that baroness

Yesterday was Kendal and Hebden Bridge, today saw the roadshow reach Bradford, where Jeanette Sunderland generously hosted a cream tea. Home made down to the jam, with some excellent tea and great company, it gave Ros an opportunity to meet some members in a less formal environment.

In fact, Ros has a Bradford connection, in that her father's family came from Bradford, and she frequently visited the area as a child.

I got to spend some quality time with Mat and Jennie, who'd come from Brighouse to enjoy the sunshine and strawberries. Jennie's meteoric rise to blogging fame has been evidence (if it were needed) that gender isn't a barrier to successful blogging, but the ability to convey a message is. It would be fair to say that our styles are somewhat different (I write like a bureaucrat, she... doesn't) but I follow her blog for the quality of the spleen-venting.

We'd spent the first part of the day relaxing in our hotel room. Whilst the events themselves are a lot of fun, the travelling can be very tiring, with crowded, noisy trains making it very hard to relax. Add to that the tension caused by late-running trains and missed connections, and you can understand why we take a lot of trouble to ensure that the schedule leaves as much recovery time as possible.

And as the campaign hots up, my role as travel co-ordinator becomes more important. There are two aspects to the task, making the travel efficient and, equally important, stretching the travel budget as far as possible - this isn't cheap, let me assure you, and finances are limited. I've learned a remarkable amount about the way the various rail companies price tickets as we've gone on and you'd be amazed at the apparent insanity of it all...

A Liberal Democrat pilgrimage

Catholics have Lourdes or Santiago de Compostela, Anglicans have Canterbury and Hindus have Varanasi, all of which are perfectly charming, I'm sure. Liberal Democrats have Hebden Bridge, the font of cutting-edge campaigning ideas since Tony Greaves was a lad.

I've only been there once, nearly twenty years ago for a LYMEC seminar on Tourism. The sun shone, the Timothy Taylor's Landlord was perfect, and the crazy golf competition between the Young Liberal Democrats and the Young Liberal Movement went our way (make birdies, not war...).

And now I'm on my way back. A bit wiser, perhaps, a bit older, certainly, but back nonetheless.

Last night, Ros and I got to Lancashire, for a meeting with members in Wyre and Preston North. The Local Parties there are working hard to build a more effective campaigning machine, increasing membership and organising action days. We were made to feel really welcome, and we even won some cushions in the raffle.

We stayed overnight with Harold Elletson, whose family home is one of the more remarkable I've encountered. We ate dinner in an Italian restaurant in Preston, where we met up with Andrew, a journalist friend of Harold's, and chatted about the media, Europe and tax policy. It's nice sometimes to talk about ideas. After all, a campaign is meant to be fun too...

Trapped in their ivory tower, or just too genteel to put the boot in?

Ros gets to turn up at the debate, whereas I only get to read the papers afterwards. Not unreasonable, I suppose, and I almost certainly wouldn’t get to read some of the more intriguing documents otherwise. By the way, don’t worry, I don’t get to read anything that isn’t in the public domain! Amongst today’s reading matter for the train journey to Lancaster (hi Mum, I’m on the train!), is the report of the very Select Committee that Ros wrote of earlier.

It is a very well written report, although I do wonder about the fairness of some of the criticism. It is entirely fair to question the effectiveness of the partnership between HM Treasury (HMT) and HM Revenue & Customs (HMRC), a subject on which I have an interest but no direct knowledge. However, the criticism seems to overlook the political dimension, perhaps naively so.

As the Conservatives have become a more credible party of government - not necessarily a more credible party in government, I might add - they have begun to attempt to make the weather on taxation, aided to some extent by the inability of the current administration to identify a consistent political narrative. Generally speaking, George Osborne and his merry men have avoided the difficult task of actually costing their proposals - we are told that this is a work in progress - but the thought that they might care is sufficient to earn ‘brownie points’ with a discontented public.

Labour’s response has smacked of the behaviour of a rather paranoid and hyperactive magpie, regardless of the truth of the matter. It may indeed be the case that many of their responses have been based on pre-existing work being done, but the media, the public and, more worryingly, the professional stakeholders, don’t believe it. It’s all about credibility and tone, and Alastair Darling doesn’t have it at the moment.

Liberal Democrats are good on costings, long on credibility (could we have a better Treasury spokesman than Vince Cable, indeed could anyone?) but short on access to the media - although it’s getting better by the day…

So, with the Conservatives making much of the weather, and Labour doing badly but committed to an economic policy that leans towards a conventionally liberal economic agenda, there has been a temptation to spring tax policy changes for short-term political advantage. And, to be frank, a bunch of whinging accountants and tax lawyers, who probably vote Conservative anyway (a left-wing generalisation, not mine) are less significant than a couple of favourable headlines in the Daily Mail and the Guardian. What price proper consultation under those circumstances?

The abstract of the Report concludes by stating, “Our overall impression from the evidence we received was that this year the formulation of tax policy has been marked by uncertainty of direction.”. Alas, just another sign of intellectual drift in that long-running Westminster farce, “By George, Darling, you’ve lost your trousers!”.

Bones Commission: take a deep breath and count to ten

One supposedly 'friendly' leak to the Times and the Lib Dem blogging community are all a-flutter.

Perhaps we need to get this into perspective. There will be no proposals requiring immediate constitutional change, as promised at the beginning. There will not be a power grab by the Leader, because we would need to be convinced to grant him greater powers anyway (read the constitution, dull but well written).

On the other hand, the Party has such a byzantine structure that power lurks invisibly and unaccountably where one leasts expects it. Bloggers have, for a long time, called for greater clarity, greater democracy and faster decision making. I believe that Bones proposes some ideas that might get us moving in the right direction.

If I have a criticism, it is that the path ahead is insufficiently signposted. What will happen next and where is unclear or, at least, is insufficiently well-publicised. Perhaps Nick could clarify for us? Oh yes, and not by means of a well-placed leak...

Over land and under sea - the campaign goes international!

Having watched Ros hand an award to Eurostar on Tuesday night, Wednesday saw us heading for St Pancras to catch a train to Brussels for an evening garden party at the home of Lawrence Meredith, vice-chair of Brussels and Europe Liberal Democrats.

The Eurostar experience is pretty fantastic, and the journey to the Channel Tunnel passes by in a flash - so much better than the old trundle through Kent. We were picked up at Gare du Midi by Rebecca Taylor, their Chair, who, depsite feeling fairly ghastly (get well soon, Rebecca), made us very welcome.

We then headed over to the event, and immediately ran into John McCormick, who I was shadow assessor to and then Returning Officer for in Wokingham. My past life as a European Returning Officer made for a series of familiar faces, as the Local Party tends to produce a disproportionate number of European Parliamentary candidates, and it was good to see the likes of John Vincent and Peter Welch, both of whom had made special arrangements to be at the event.

Graham Watson came directly from a memorial service to introduce Ros, and made some light-hearted remarks about the Presidential contest before handing over to Ros.

Ros spoke for a few minutes before mingling with those present to talk about a range of issues before we returned to Graham's place in Ixelles for a glass of wine and a chat before bedtime...

The lottery of getting there

Whilst Ros was handing out awards, I was enjoying the company of our table.

Amongst those gathered with Alan Dedicot, the voice of the National Lottery (he was working as the disembodied emcee) and, unexpectedly, Tamsin Dunwoody, recipient of this year's worst political hospital pass. Tamsin was there to collect a posthumous award to her mother, Gwyneth, for services to transport, and was in quite expansive form. I've remarked in the past that the media create very two-dimensional images of people in the news, and Tamsin was not really as I had expected her to be.

Alan was an interesting character too, and was telling us about the Routemaster bus that he and some friends are restoring for use for weddings and such. He couldn't have been surrounded by a more interested group of people if he'd tried...

It's curious, because I generally didn't enjoy these types of events in the past. My capacity for small talk was not great, and I tended to feel a bit isolated. Now, however, I've learned to relax a bit, and go with the flow. As I've discovered, most people tend to feel as I did, and having someone introduce themselves and break the ice makes it rather more enjoyable.

And then there were three - a cat called Franklin

Unfortunately, when you are the owner of a group of increasingly aged cats, the prospect of their demise becomes ever closer. Having already lost Victoria earlier this year to cancer, I had become concerned about Franklin’s health. At nearly 17½, or 85 in ‘human years’, he was becoming something of a geriatric.

And yet the fitting of a catflap gave him a new lease on life. He prowled the garden, as well as those nearby, walked across the top of narrow fences without any evident difficulty, and seemed to be bearing up well, even if he was a mite scrawny. Indeed, Eleanor, his brother (don’t ask, it’s a long story) seemed to be in worse shape.

On Thursday night, I had hosted a meeting of my Local Party Executive, and Franklin took the opportunity to introduce himself, before taking his customary place in his new cat bed (one of Ros’s innovations). He seemed to be reasonably perky but, when I came down the next morning, I found him sprawled across the carpet. Given that no self-respecting cat would ever allow himself to be seen like that unless there was something wrong, it was clear that this was serious. A quick examination made it clear that this was terminal, and with heavy heart I took him to the vet. The lack of response and of movement did not augur well.

The vet quickly reached the same conclusion, and it was agreed that he should be put to sleep without delay. I have sworn that none of my cats will suffer unnecessarily, and whilst putting them to sleep is not something I do lightly, if it is clearly for the best, and the vet agrees, then I won’t hesitate.

I’ll miss Franklin. His company was a comfort to me in some of my darkest moments, and his antics were always entertaining. Let’s just hope that he’s enjoying prowling the celestial garden…

Back to life, back to reality

I've been, in blogging terms at least, drifting a bit of late. The Campaign for a Real President has taken up quite a lot of my time of late, planning trips, acting as a sounding board for Ros and, to be honest, party bureaucracy has begun to pall in terms of its attractiveness...

This weekend saw the campaign trail reach Peasedown St John, in North East Somerset, the new constituency which takes in Wansdyke, the last Labour seat in the county. Our host, Cllr Nathan Hartley, threw a very pleasant event, with good food, great beer and fun company. Ros gave a speech which attracted laughter and interesting questions in good measure, before we retired to the home of Gail Coleshill, the local PPC for the night.

In the morning, we set off for Suffolk, having discovered that, due to the vagaries of rail fares, it was the same fare to travel first class as it would be to travel standard class. I'll return to that at some point...

On Sunday, we had been invited, with a broad cross-section of Suffolk high society, to attend an event to celebrate the first stage of the restoration of the Miller's House at the Pakenham Water Mill. So, we dressed for a Sunday afternoon in the country (floral print for Ros, linen jacket and chinos for me) and drove over to Pakenham. The Chairman of the Board of Trustees, Sue Tamlyn, another of those Suffolk women who, had they been born a century earlier, would have been running a British Residency somewhere in the Empire, made an unexpectedly humourous speech indicating the work that has been put in by the volunteer corps of fundraisers, millers and mechanics who have underpinned the restoration.

We then had an opportunity to see the restored buildings, see wheat being milled into flour (the mill is a working one, and produces high-quality flour for sale in local farmers markets), and admire the millpond and the new flat that has been created as part of the site. In an era when food miles are a middle-class obsession, Pakenham has food yards - you can see the fields of wheat from the mill.

The Board of Trustees then invited us to take afternoon tea, with finger sandwiches and their 'really rather excellent' lemon drizzle cake. The tea was high-quality (and I say that as someone who takes his tea very seriously) and the lemon drizzle cake was, dare I say it, really rather excellent.

This morning, however, it was time to head back to London for the urban bureaucrat. I like to end my Suffolk weekends with a proper breakfast on the train, a luxury I know, but it helps me make the transition from country to city. Today was almost painfully perfect though, with an excellent full English breakfast served by those really rather nice people at National Express East Anglia - "was everything alright, my love?" - and the sun shining as we glided effortlessly through mid-Suffolk and the Stour Valley at Manningtree.

As London drew closer, I began to daydream that the guard had come up to me and said, "I'm terribly sorry, Sir, but we really do feel that you shouldn't go to London today. Don't worry though, we'll put you down at Brentwood and someone will make sure that you get back to Needham Market safe and sound." Sadly, it never happened...

Blogging for bureaucrats: a new Labour surprise

Some time ago, at the height of the Civil Serf controversy, it was announced that the Cabinet Office would be looking to define some guidelines for civil servant bloggers. I wasn't confident... but am pleasantly surprised to see what has emerged.

In an era of massively verbose legislation, statutory instruments and guidance, Tom Watson has come up with the following:

Be credible

Be accurate, fair, thorough and transparent.

Be consistent

Encourage constructive criticism and deliberation. Be cordial, honest and professional at all times.

Be responsive

When you gain insight, share it where appropriate.

Be integrated

Wherever possible, align online participation with other offline communications.

Be a civil servant

Remember that you are an ambassador for your organisation. Wherever possible, disclose your position as a representative of your department or agency.

It must be considered that, for once, there is a liberal view of the world emerging from a dusty corner of our government. There is a degree of trust displayed here that asks serious questions of civil servants, i.e. are we up to the challenge of balancing information with confidentiality, openness with political neutrality?

Interestingly, I see some potential for innovative interaction with the accountancy profession and taxpayers. There is plenty of information available on the legal framework within which the taxation system works. However, information on how to find the person best equipped to help you is more difficult. I often speak to taxpayers or accountants who have spoken to three or four people in a frustrating attempt to find the right someone. Taxpayers, particularly, struggle because they are not au fait with the language of taxation, and are bewildered by terms such as 'period of account' or 'accounting period' (not necessarily the same thing). Often, our systems make little sense without the underlying context and appear to be simply a set of hoops that we make people jump through.

The real question for middle management is, "do you have the confidence to allow experimentation?". Now, there I have less confidence. In an era of change, risk-taking has become less frequent and reliance on the letter of the instructions.

However, on the whole, this is a good thing, and I believe that there is a potential to drag the UK Civil Service into the Century of the Fruitbat... I shall watch with interest...

You Gov and the Party Presidency

There has been an unexpected development in the campaign for the Party Presidency in the shape of a poll seeking views on the contest and the contenders.

Curious, because nominations don't close for three months, and more so because sources close to both camps have either denied involvement (me for Ros) or indicated how unlikely it would be (a former staffer for Lembit).

Polling doesn't come cheap, although YouGov are cheaper than most, if not all, of the rivals. Oh well, I'm sure that whoever it is has their reasons...

From here to there, from there to somewhere else... life on and in the Royal Duchy

And so, Mr Valladares, what are you up to today?

Life isn't just about a campaign for the Presidency - yes, yes, Ros is running, not me - but I have my own niche within Liberal Democracy. Accordingly, we found ourselves going our separate ways today. I had a hellishly early start to catch the 08:17 train from Plymouth to Penmere (change at Truro), whilst Ros had a more leisurely morning, travelling to Tavistock for a lunchtime event with Torridge and West Devon Lib Dems. She then set off for Exmouth whilst I make the epic journey from Penmere to Exmouth (change at Truro and Exeter St Davids - journey time 4 hours and 27 minutes) to meet her. Oh yes, I'm still somewhere in Cornwall, riding on the 'Royal Duchy' and heading for the Tamar...

Tonight, we're meeting up to attend the East Devon Lib Dem boat cruise, so I am time constrained (thanks heavens the train is on time!). Ros thinks that I'm slightly crazy, travelling for six and a half hours to give a one hour presentation, but the views from the train are nice, and a promise is a promise...

A world's first in Falmouth!

Two weeks ago, English Candidates Committee formally voted to approve the new candidate approval system. We are rather proud of our new baby, and it was with some enthusiasm that I agreed to give a presentation to CONNECT, a fairly new 'ginger group' providing a stepping stone between Liberal Youth and the Liberty Network, outlining how the new process looks. Given the widely-held view that English Candidates Committee as being a secret society (I'm yet to master the special handshake and as for the right gesture with the funny little knife...), this represents a probable world first.

And so to Falmouth, and the Penmere Manor Hotel, where I walked into a session on Media, led by Tessa Munt, Lib Dem PPC for Wells. Tessa has a horde of stories and advice and, whilst we bureaucrats are not often in the media spotlight, it was interesting to hear what she had to say.

And then it was my turn. When presenting material like this, it is important not to give too much away. After all, if you are trying to assess competences, it is hardly going to help if an applicant already knows the answers. So I stuck to an outline of what the exercises are intended to do, what the possible outcomes are and what they mean, and what the competences we seek to test are.

I then invited questions on everything from approval to selection. One interesting point was that there was strong support for the current endorsement rules. Now, I've been a fairly outspoken critic of this element of our selection process, so the strength of feeling was a chance to practice the debate for the discussions ahead.

There was just enough time to have a quick chat with the event organiser, Rab Makki, before it was time to head for the station. Much kudos must go to Rab for his unstinting efforts on behalf of CONNECT, and I'm sure he's already working hard on plans for Bournemouth in September.

A lucky escape for the piscine nation, methinks

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." George W. Bush, Saginaw, Michigan, 29 September 2000

Farmers and animal rights welfare campaigners - who can you trust?

Today's Independent has, as its front page exclusive, a report on abuses in the British pig industry. There are some pretty gruesome pictures, taken by Animal Aid activists, which imply that senior members of the British Pig Executive (BPEX), the industry's governing body, are in breach of their animal welfare obligations.

There is always a risk, when images like these are circulated, that they are taken out of context. Are the pictures typical of day to day conditions? Are there unusual circumstances that need to be factored in? We, the readers, don't really know. So, perhaps the response of the farmers might enlighten us. A BPEX spokesman started off well, "If Animal Aid wants to send us the names and addresses of those pig farms then we would be more than happy to investigate.". If only he'd stopped there... Unfortunately, his next sentence was a doozy, "However, the most concerning factor is that this vegan campaigning company should be jeopardising the health and welfare of English pigs by breaking into private property.".

Firstly, their status as vegans is an utter red herring. Animal Aid don't appear to want to kill off the British pig industry. In a country of animal lovers, accusations of animal cruelty are always likely to be believed, especially given the urban view of the countryside. Given that the evidence suggests that farmers are mistreating their livestock, the notion that the Animal Aid campaigners were jeopardising the health and welfare of the pigs is a bit rich.

The image of farmers as stewards of a bucolic scene, animals wandering around in fields and milkmaids flirting has been replaced by a more cynical view of rapacious agri-industrialists, ploughing up hedgerows, factory farming cute animals in dark, satanic sheds. The truth lies somewhere between the two.

In truth, the problem is the fault of you and I, the consumer. We want more protein, and we want it cheap. Free range pork isn't as cheap as factory-farmed pork, supermarkets drive harder and harder bargains with farmers, and thus shortcuts are taken. We want to have our bacon and eat it too.

My newly-adopted Suffolk is a stronghold of the pig industry. A drive along the A14 will encover fields full of corrugated iron huts, each open at one end and big enough for a boar or sow and her litter. They are able to wander around the field, interact, root around in the earth, wallow a bit if they so choose. They look happy and contented, and probably are, right up until the point where they are slaughtered.

I like pork. I love bacon and ham and sausages. In Suffolk, I am able to buy these things from local farm shops where the pig is slaughtered nearby. And yes, I pay a bit more than I might do at Sainsbury or Tesco, but the taste is better and I can be fairly certain that the pig was well-treated. It is, however, something of a middle class luxury, and perhaps we need to remember that when we browbeat the farmer for merely trying to give us what we as a society demand. Cheap food has its cost, and it's the farmer and his livestock that are paying.

Trapped in my ivory tower

We're having a few problems here at Euston Tower today. For those of you familiar with the London skyline, it's the old Capital Radio building on the corner of Euston Road and Hampstead Road opposite Warren Street station.

Due to a power failure, the south spur has lost electricity. We'd already lost telephones over the weekend and now, we have no lift service. At least there's a good view from my desk on the thirteenth floor!

Ros, I could be some time...

A solitary bureaucrat in a sea of councillors

I'm on my way to Gloucester, having spent this morning with Ros at the joint LGA/ALDC Local Government Conference in Birmingham.

Last night, we attended the pre-conference dinner in the extremely grand Council House, a magnificent example of Victorian municipal architecture. Richard Kemp and Paul Tilsley made brief speeches before Ros took her turn. I don't have much involvement in the preparation of Ros's speeches - not my forte, it must be said - so I have as much idea of what to expect as the rest of the audience do. I often hear a line and assume that it will lead into a story I've heard before, only to be confounded. Public speaking is an art, and I never cease to be amazed by Ros's grasp of the format.

An excellent dinner followed, and the conversation over the meal suitably entertained. When you are surrounded by a group of people who actually run, or have run, significant authorities, it pays to listen to what they have to say. After all, unlike some of our MPs (and this is no criticism of them), our Council Leaders in places like Birmingham, Cardiff and Watford have genuine power to change their towns and cities, and the lives of the people who live in them, for the better.

In fact, I've been persuaded that, whilst I might not be the most obvious council candidate ever, if my Party genuinely needed me and thought that I wouldn't let them down, I wouldn't resist like I have done in the past. Sometimes, simply believing in the concept of public service is not enough, you have to be willing to take your turn on the frontline...

How do you solve a problem like a sociopath? (with apologies to Julie Andrews fans everywhere)

I appear to have a slight problem and, in order to understand it better, have been doing some research. Do you know anyone like this? I wonder if I do...

"Listen very carefully, I may need to repeat myself..."

Ros was working late at the "office" yesterday, voting on the Lisbon Treaty and, in particular, the Conservative amendment seeking a referendum (her vote can be found in Hansard for those who take an interest in such things), so I joined her for dinner.

On arrival at the House of Lords, the result of the division was expected imminently, and Ros was keen to find one of the television screens known as annuciators, which faithfully report what is being debated, who is speaking and how long they've been on. It also reports the results of divisions and the status of the House. We quickly located the one in the River Room and, to our consternation, discovered that the result was apparently 'Contents 218, Not Contents 218'. A buzz ran through the Lords until it was announced that the result was, actually, 'Contents 218, Not Contents 280', meaning that the amendment had fallen.

I suspect that the staff member responsible for the initial error might need to have his or her hearing checked before they resume duties... especially as such alarms might not be good for the health of the more elderly Peers...

On that subject, it should be noted that Lord Bruce-Lockhart spoke in last night's debate. A reading of Hansard notes the comment of the Lord President, Baroness Ashton, that he had made a particular effort to take part in, and contribute to, the debate. I understand that he is extremely unwell and it is a tribute to his fortitude and commitment that he was able, and willing, to do so.

At times like this, one realises that the House of Lords, contrary to expectations, is a remarkably compassionate institution. Regardless of the subject under debate, interventions are usually courteous and, for the most part, uninterrupted. It is apparently the convention that the more elderly, frail Peers are allowed to make their interventions without spurious points of order, as there is an understanding that they are mustering all of their strength to take part. Perhaps there is a lesson there for all of us...

Julia Goldsworthy on the pull - not a sight you see every day...

It was another of those invitations that you tend not to refuse, a charity evening for the Macmillan Cancer Care charity, held in the Abbey Gardens at Westminster. Naturally, a number of Parliamentarians were there, taking the opportunity to enjoy some fine hospitality, although it wasn't just about the wine and canapes. No, we were there for serious business.

Every year, there is a tug of war contest between the House of Lords and the House of Commons, and this is where it takes place. In recent years, it has become rather one-sided, as MPs have got younger and the loss of the hereditary peers has robbed the Lords of a number of young, comparatively fit, contenders. Ros and I were clearly there to cheer on our 'boys' though, and took front row seats for the joust to come.

The sport was more than just one contest though, with teams from the event sponsors and two firms of lawyers whetting our appetites for gladiatorial action. The next contest was rather more serious, with the Merseyside Fire and Rescue Service taking on the Merseyside Police. The firemen looked very big and had clearly been taking their practice very seriously - and pulled their opponents quite easily.

A pretty even contest between the Royal Engineers and the RAF followed before the penultimate all-female contest between a team from Macmillan Cancer Care and a team from the House of Commons. Admittedly, MPs were fairly sparse, so I am delighted to be able to report that Julia Goldsworthy was there to uphold Liberal Democrat honour, alongside, somewhat surprisingly, Susan Kramer. I've known Susan for some time, and never really seen her as the physical type, but one couldn't help but be impressed by the way she, and the rest of the team, eased their way to a comprehensive two pulls to nil victory.

And then the main event. No ringers here as two eight-man teams took their places under the watchful eye of officials from the British Tug of War Association, with commentary from Jeremy Vine. My heart was with the Lords, with my noble Lords Addington, Clement-Jones and Redesdale flying the golden pennant for the red benches, but my head was with the Commons (including Andrew George and Sir Robert Smith) given the evident advantages of relative youth and fitness. Sadly, my head was proven to be the better judge, as history repeated itself and the Commons team ran out fairly easy winners, two pulls to none.

Suffice to say that a lot of money was made for charity, and everyone seemed to have a good time. Not a bad evening then...

Suffolk Reviews: St Peter's Brewery Fruit Beer - Grapefruit

The advantage of having twelve bottles of beer, each of them different, is that you can 'impulse drink'. Improved weather in mid-Suffolk gave me an opportunity to try this unusual beer, unusual in that citrus fruit is something more commonly added to beer in slices and crammed into the neck of the bottle. Not this time though...

The tasting notes read:

"We use our Wheat Beer as the base for this superbly refreshing beer. The zesty/pithy grapefruit is in complete harmony with the hops and malt. Excellent as an aperitif or as a refreshing change."

I couldn't agree more. This is a beer for lazy summer afternoons when one might otherwise switch to lager, although at 4.7% ABV, it shouldn't be taken lightly. It is also very 'accessible', in that many non-beer drinkers might feel able to make an exception for this uncommon taste.

It was not my intention to become an activist but...

When our engagement was announced, the Daily Telegraph somewhat inaccurately described me as a 'Liberal Democrat activist'. Anyone who knows me would have got a laugh out of that, as I tended to describe my role as 'going to meetings so that you don't have to'.

However, whilst Ros gained a partner (and now a husband), the Party has unexpectedly gained an activist. Alright, I'm not prone to deliver leaflets most evenings - my lifestyle doesn't really permit that. On the other hand, in the course of my travelling around the country over the past nine months, I seem to have played a walk-on role in by-elections and elections across the country.

Our trip to the North East in April saw us campaign in seven wards, canvassing and delivering in Fenham ward, Newcastle, canvassing in Berwick North, Bamburgh and Lesbury wards in Northumberland, canvassing in Framwellgate Moor and delivering in Sherburn ward in County Durham. We won all but Berwick North - lost to an independent.

I've canvassed in Shepton Mallett and Great Dunmow, delivered in Forest Heath and Waltham Forest and tomorrow I'll start writing blue envelopes for a by-election somewhere in London. Ros has been even busier, a comparative blur of activity.

Strangely enough, I'm actually enjoying myself. The exercise is good for me, people are generally friendly, even if they aren't going to vote for us, and the candidates are fun to talk to, and it's nice to actually contribute to the process of gaining support for Liberal Democrats.

I suspect that I'll be quite active in the coming months, as the weather is nice, and there seems to be an unending stream of by-elections. So don't be surprised if a slightly portly bureaucrat strolls into town with a bundle of leaflets or a canvass card - although if this keeps up, the bureaucrat might be slightly less portly...

Suffolk Reviews: St Peter's Brewery Spiced Ale

Having been to Bungay, and taken advantage of the opportunity to purchase a mixed case of the products of the St Peter's Brewery, it would be remiss of me not to review their range...

The tasting notes for this unusual ale read as follows:

"A rich, dark winter beer with apple, cinnamon and nutmeg added to complement the chocolate malt. Ideal for mulling and driving out the cold on a winter's night. Some of our customers describe this as 'Christmas in a bottle'!"

Now I'm not entirely sure about that, but have to agree that this is a fine ale indeed, with plenty of flavour and not too much sweetness, always a temptation with something like this. It isn't a beer you'd drink too many of, at least not on the same evening, but I would certainly lay some down for next winter.

It is recommended that this be served at room temperature, and I suspect that it would probably go down nicely with roast goose and all the trimmings, or held back until the Queen's Speech for those who like a mid-afternoon tipple.

The criminalisation of the masses - is this what Labour mean by a more equal society?

Alright, I wasn't impressed by Labour proposals on cigarette advertising and marketing. As for the new proposals to crack down on drinking amongst under-18's, irritation turns to contempt. Don't get me wrong, I'm not wild about drunken idiots roaming our town centres late at night. It's just that, for me, their age is irrelevant, it's their behaviour that is the issue.

Government proposals to criminalise those below the age of 18 caught in repeated possession of alcohol are silly enough, but the notion that parents might also be punished with a criminal record for failure to prevent them from doing so ranks amongst the most absurd notions that this control freak administration have dreamt up yet.

It is an offence to sell alcohol to anyone under the age of 18. It is an offence for publicans to serve alcohol to anyone under the age of 18. It is an offence to supply alcohol to a minor. It is an offence to knowingly withhold evidence of a crime that has been committed. Doesn't that just about cover the bases?

The proposal is that ASBO's and behaviour contracts will be handed out. Someone has to police this - who will it be? Will there be raids on the bedrooms of fifteen-year olds to see if they are in breach of their ASBO? Will parents be obliged to carry out bag checks as their children enter or leave the premises?

And as for criminalising parents, the implications are potentially ruinous. Jack is caught three times with alcohol. His parents try to stop him but fail (they both work, Jack is sometimes unsupervised). They are prosecuted and found guilty. The husband is a social worker, the wife a nurse, so their jobs are now on the line. This helps the family how precisely? Let's not even start on the implications for single parent families...

It seems that the Liberal Democrat spokesperson is suggesting that existing laws are sufficient to deal with this issue. Well done, that person, well done! There is enough law on the statutes to deal with most things and perhaps if this Government left well alone for a while, they wouldn't screw things up as often as they are at the moment.

"I think that I shall never see, a thing as heavy as a tree"

Here in the countryside, where connection to the utilities is less straightforward, we tend to use oil-fired central heating and, if possible, wood burners. Ironically, with the increase in the price of oil, anyone prescient enough to have a wood burner installed, say three years ago, will be saving an unexpected fortune.

Having married such an oracle, today saw my first delivery of logs, and an impressive sight they were too. The only setback is that, due to the layout of buildings, the nice man who delivered them at 9 a.m. (on Sunday? Beat that for service, city dweller!) had to leave them in the drive. This in turn, means that we have to carry a truckload of logs to the shed to be stacked in the dry. I'm not as young as I used to be and the logs are awkward and irregularly shaped. However, Ros is organised and efficient, and despite the odd complaining muscle, we managed to get them safely and neatly put away.

Nothing beats a real fire, and the warm glow is made even better by the knowledge that not only are we using a renewable resource, but we are saving money too.

Suffolk Reviews: The Suffolk Show

Now I would be the first to admit that I'm not an obvious person to be seen at a County Showground but, in keeping with my newfound status as a weekend country-dweller, Ros persuaded me that I would really enjoy the Suffolk Show, a two-day extravaganza of farming equipment, livestock and various county pursuits.

And so, despite an unpromising weather forecast, we set off for Needham Market station to catch the train to Ipswich. There is, I'm pleased to say, a bus laid on to transport pedestrians to the Showgrounds in Trinity Park, and we were able to make good time before purchasing our entrance tickets.

Having got in, I was somewhat staggered by the sheer scale of the event. There are hundreds of different judging classes for rabbits, pigs, cows, sheep and all manner of farm animals, and we were soon checking out some prize sheep. Some of the breeds are much bigger than I might have expected, and quite aggressive too - hardly the passive creatures that you see on television!

There are plenty of lifestyle exhibits too, with a food and drink tent sponsored by Adnams, the Southwold brewery, some rather chi-chi furniture and enough 'clothing for country folk' to clothe most of East Anglia for the next decade. We slipped in to get a snack and sampled our way through the exhibition. It may not be good for the waistline but my stomach certainly appreciated it.

There are even competitions for blacksmiths and teams could be found shoeing horses against the clock. The horses used are big, and quite capable of giving an errant farrier a hefty and very painful kick, yet for the most part they stand patiently whilst the horseshoes are fitted. Of course, the county is famous for its Suffolk Punch, a large, attractive and tough work horse whose decline in numbers has been the driver for a campaign to save the breed.

Dotted amongst the exhibits are bars, rides for the children (and those who still like to behave that way!), trade stands, cookery demonstrations and various entertainments for young and old alike. You can even spend a restful few minutes listening to Winston the Singing Farmer (no, I'm not kidding...).

So, for those of you who have always wondered what a County Show might be like, Ipswich isn't too far away, and you could do it as a day trip. For more information, try http://www.suffolkshow.co.uk/...

New Labour, new nanny state proposal

I see that the Government have launched a new consultation document on smoking. Whilst I don't use, and never have used, cancer sticks, I respect the right of others to do so, albeit not in my home and not in places where I am obliged to be.

Again, the notion that 'something must be done' rears its ugly head. I'm not convinced, for example, that banning the sale of cigarettes in pack sizes of less than twenty will make a huge difference. I'm fairly confident that the average young person, against whom these proposals are aimed, can work out that by waiting a little, they can save up for the first pack (assuming, of course, that they can't just buy a pack of twenty straight away) in the knowledge that they will not have to buy the next pack quite so soon.

As for banning 'brightly coloured packets', are we to presume that those youngsters trying cigarettes are really attracted to bright red, or blue or green and that this attraction makes them want to smoke the contents of the packet? Doesn't the stark warning on each pack make it abundantly clear?

If we really want to stamp out smoking, keep increasing the duty and price it out of the range of most people. At least that would imply a sense of honesty about the course of action being taken. Talk about how much it costs me to support smokers who die prematurelyn and balance that against the amounts of revenue brought in by taxing tobacco. Then we can make a fair choice as to what we do to our bodies...

Instead, the Government opts for criminalising those who are insufficiently aware of their agenda. Publicans and shopkeepers will have something else to watch out for, with the risk of fines and penalties for accidental non-compliance.

At the rate we're going, we'll only be able to do what the Government tells us we can, not as currently presumed, anything that isn't actively proscribed...

Labour - is the light at the end of the tunnel that of an oncoming train?

Until fairly recently I felt that the next General Election would be a bit like 1992, with Labour's majority down but with them remaining the largest party. However, if experience on the doorstep is anything to go by, I may have to change my stance.

Last weekend, Ros and I were in Shepton Mallet, canvassing in support of our by-election candidate, Rachael Witcombe. When the seat had been fought previously, the result had been Conservatives 37%, Liberal Democrats 32% and Labour 29%. Labour were campaigning to some extent, so it was clearly a 3-way marginal. Yet when canvassed, the number of those volunteering that "we're not voting Labour!" was significant. My sense was that some of our previous supporters were switching to the Conservatives whilst previous Labour supporters were switching to both ourselves and the Conservatives. The result? Conservatives 47%, Liberal Democrats 38%, Labour 13%, a result which does not augur well for Labour.

Today, I'm in Red Lodge, where a Conservative resignation has caused a by-election. Red Lodge itself centres on a mixed development which includes former service housing. It's the sort of place where you would expect to find a residual Labour vote. The only problem is, no Labour candidate. Is this another symptom of a Labour Party losing the will to fight?

When morale falters, defeat is seldom far away. My sense is that, unless the Labour leadership rally fast, election defeat is only as far away as Gordon chooses it to be...

Abortion rights and wrongs

I have not, I confess, followed the debate on abortion time limits particularly closely, perhaps because I tend to the view that it is a woman's right to choose - a position which is consistent with my liberalism if not my Catholicism.

However, I happened to be outside Parliament on a day when both sides of the argument had gathered across the street to make their point. The pro-choice lobby were loud but reasonably well-humoured, chanting a fairly catchy little ditty opposing the interference of church and state. The 'pro-life' (and why are they allowed to claim the phrase?) lobby stood in solemn silence, although the fact that they were outnumbered by about three to one might have contributed to that.

It was interesting that those willing to turn up to oppose abortion were predominantly men, and one might presume that their spouses were at home, pregnant, barefoot and in the kitchen. On the other hand, I was disappointed that there weren't more men joining the pro-choice campaigners.

I fully accept that abortion is an emotive issue, and that it tends to lead people to extreme positions. However, I find it objectionable when people replace facts with emotion, and the anti-abortion protestors have, regrettably, wilfully distorted science and reason in constructing some fairly weak arguments.

It is interesting that other European countries have much lower time limits for legal abortion, and one must acknowledge that we should be troubled by the fact that many of these countries believe their legislation to be sufficient. On the other hand, their rates of teenage pregnancy are far lower than ours, their health services more responsive and their sex education programmes more effective. Sadly, our rather prurient attitude to sex as a nation tends to reinforce this and despite the explosion of magazines and websites catering to a younger, more curious audience, such media seldom reach the necessary target audience, i.e the relative poor and under-educated.

In terms of the science, the argument that foetuses below the age of twenty-four weeks can survive is severely dented by the figures of disability for those premature births. It is all very well insisting that such children have a right to life, although I see no action to move legislation providing better support, both financial and practical, to their parents.

Ultimately, when you see the charge being led by the likes of Nadine Dorries, you need to remind yourself that this is a woman who claims to believe in the freedom of the individual. Actually, she doesn't believe in your freedom, she believes in her freedom to limit yours, be it economic, social or political. Naturally, she doesn't admit to the hypocrisy of her position, as it is so much easier to persuade people if you don't, but she would be the first to pick up on factual inaccuracies of your argument if you contradicted her.

And so my hope is that the status quo is maintained, so long as scientific advances don't undermine the position. Frankly, I expect that they will, as they did the twenty-eight week limit. At that point, I will change my position but at least it will be on the basis of science and reason, not on a prospectus of lies and slander.

A nostalgic return to the old alma mater

Ros had been invited back to her old university. coincidentally mine too, although I graduated in the mists of time when dinosaurs could still be seen roaming the grassy meadows next to Suffolk Terrace. Noting that I had been there too, the invitation to meet the Vice Chancellor was graciously extended to her husband too, and I was delighted to accept.

I enjoyed my years at UEA, and though I wasn't incredibly successful in academic terms, I learnt a tremendous amount, much of which was put to use in my political activities that followed.

We were met by Joyce and David, who escorted us to the Sainsbury Centre for the Visual Arts, an incredible facility which would doubtless draw many more than its current annual 70,000 visitors were it in London. The original building was architecturally daring when it was first opened but refurbishment and extension have made it into a facility that is the envy of other universities. We were given a brief tour before being shown to the restaurant where lunch was taken with the Vice Chancellor, the head of Ros's former department and my former academic advisor, Dr Gareth Janacek.

Dr Janacek also had the misfortune to have taught me statistics, a subject I enjoyed in the abstract, but this doesn't appear to have done him too much harm, as he has aged rather better than I have. It was a great pleasure to have the chance to talk to him after so many years and he very kindly proffered an invitation to visit if I was in Norwich in the future. It isn't that far away from Needham Market, so who knows...

After lunch, we met with some politics students, who quizzed Ros on the role of women in politics, on Burma and on the role of the European Union in resolving the Israel/Palestine question. I chipped in with some thoughts on the selection of women Parliamentary candidates and Ros demonstrated just why she's a Parliamentarian.

All in all, a very pleasant visit, and it was topped off by the very generous gifts of a history of the university and a guide to the architecture of the campus. I'm tempted to get more involved in the alumni group, although I probably don't have the time to do it justice...

Suffolk Reviews: the Bungay Spring Garden Fair

Bungay is a small, but perfectly formed, town almost surrounded by a curve of the River Waveney on the Suffolk/Norfolk border and is well-known in the surrounding area for its street fairs. Mid-May sees the Garden Street fair, when Earsham Street, in the middle of the town, is closed to traffic and stalls are set up to sell plants and gardening related items.

It isn't just flowers and shrubs though, as you can see from the picture of the hog roast. I'd never seen one of these before, although they are pretty traditional in Suffolk. The hog is spit roasted for hours so that the meat falls off the carcass easily, and is served in a bun with stuffing and some apple sauce (the latter isn't mandatory).

There are also opportunities to buy local products, including the fine products of the St Peter's Brewery, based in the nearby village of St Peter South Elmham, ice cream from Norfolk and all manner of other good things.

We were lucky in that the sun shone, although this did mean that traffic was heavy and parking difficult. If you are thinking of going, my advice would be to turn up early, or wait until lunchtime, when the crowds thin a bit. And, if you can't make it to Bungay in May, you might try the Antique Street Fair in June, or the Christmas Street Fair in December...

The Government clearly doesn't worry about all of the working poor

In terms of Civil Service pay, I'm comparatively lucky. I'm never going to become rich on my salary, but my needs are met as long as I don't get careless.

Many of my colleagues, on the other hand, earning less than £20,000 per year, struggle to raise families and put a roof over their heads. Housing in London is increasingly out of their reach, their salaries have lost value in real terms, and they acknowledge that the Government is terribly keen to use them as an example to the private sector in terms of clamping down on wage inflation. Of course, most of them have been affected by the loss of the 10% rate band, and some will still be worse off after Alastair's little fix.

So, the pay rise due for June will be quite welcome, you would think. Alas, despite the unions putting in their pay claim in good time, it has been announced that HM Revenue & Customs will need more time to commence negotiations, as they are still unclear as the amount of money available to cover any settlement.

Given that the lapsing of the existing pay deal was hardly a secret, it is a sign of the increasing shambles at the top of the political food-chain that the message sent to staff who have been asked to make 5% budget savings year on year whilst shedding 25% the staff over six years is, "We don't care enough about you to fulfil our moral and ethical obligations toward you."

I fully accept that civil servants aren't wildly popular. The image of tea-drinking, form-filling jobsworths is one that has been cultivated by the right-wing press over many years, yet when something happens that upsets people, the cry of "something must be done" is heard. By whom? The government, of course. Who does these things on behalf of government? Oh yes, civil servants...

If you're too incompetent to live up to your end of a contract, there is a price to be paid, unless you're the government and the contract is with your own staff, it seems. On the other hand, if you're a government that's 20% behind in the polls, you might not want to see a naturally friendly constituency go out on strike against you, especially when you need all the votes you can muster... Over to you, Mr Darling?

The 10p debacle - why the bleeding won't stop

It's all become like passing the scene of an accident on a motorway. As people drive by, they can't help but slow down to look at the grisly sight of wreckage and perhaps the odd smear of blood. Voyeuristic, I know, but human nonetheless.

Alastair Darling, having been given one of the worst 'hospital passes' of recent years, understandably concluded that silence was the best approach to dealing with his inheritance from Gordon, and it would probably have worked but for the misfortune that at least one opposition party was on the ball. The calculation wasn't difficult to do, but the fact is that either it wasn't done by the Government or, worse, it was and they ignored it. It does, I admit, puzzle me that there was silence from the Labour benches, but they probably took their eyes off the ball celebrating the reduction in the basic rate of tax to 20%.

And so the demands for a fix, and a quick one at that. Worse still, the Conservatives were allowed to claim that they were standing up for the disadvantaged. Chutzpah, I admit, but a fine example of the art of opposition.

I have to admit that the solution is a pretty elegant one. By reducing the threshold for the 40% rate band by £1200, higher rate taxpayers do not benefit, whilst most of those who had lost out are compensated in full. There are some additional beneficiaries, like myself, who earn between £18,500 and £40,000, who benefited from the reduction in the basic rate and now benefit from the enhanced personal allowance but we won't complain.

The downside is that we have a government that is on the run, and everyone knows it. £2.7 billion to fix what might charitably be described as a mistake is not a promising start in rebuilding economic credibility and the package has an impact in future years in terms of income tax take. Of course, the Chancellor might be planning to claw it back, for example by not increasing allowances or rate bands with inflation next year, but everyone will be watching now, and such slight of hand will be harder to get away with. Besides, if we shout loudly enough, it will probably be overturned anyway.

The Conservatives and ourselves will be pecking away at the weaknesses in Labour's taxation strategy, knowing that in an increasingly complex tax system, the scope for unintended consequences grows almost exponentially. It isn't even necessary to offer a concrete alternative, as very few people will understand the concepts requiring grasp. On the other hand, cries of unfairness will have Labour's Treasury team running for the hills.

Finally, there is the question of the additional borrowing. There is now very limited manoeuvre in terms of borrowing is concerned if the various 'golden rules' are to be adhered to and, in a recession, an inability to pump-prime the economy could bring dire consequences for jobs and for those juggling large mortgages and other debt.

Credibility, once lost, is often elusive to those trying to recapture it. For the time being, Alastair resembles someone trying to catch an elephant with a butterfly net. And time, my friends, is not on his side...

List Elections - get better, or die trying...

And so the wedding is done, the honeymoon too, and it is, sadly, time to return to Planet LibDem. Yesterday saw a jet-lagged Regional Conference Chair attend a meeting of the Regional Executive, where thoughts of the elections past were uppermost on people's minds. I won't go into any detail as to what was discussed, although it would be fair to say that there was a variety of views to be had.

Our performance does lead me to ask one question though - is our poor performance in regional/state list elections a problem or an inevitability? We have become exceptionally good at fighting FPTP elections, squeezing opposition parties using the classic 'two-horse race' tactic. There is, however, a problem when you move into a list-based election system. You can't claim that X can't win here, because they can, and often do. The Greens, for example, have proved that beyond doubt.

Perhaps we need to start thinking about how we can give people positive reasons to vote for us. Labour and Conservative campaigners start with an advantage in terms of access to the media and, to be brutally honest, a traditional vote which takes time to shift. Other parties, such as the Greens, UKIP and the BNP have one issue which they have an incredibly strong view on, loathesome though it may be in one case.

For Europe, this should be easy. We are, by far, the most positive of the British political parties on Europe, and we should be talking loudly about how to make Europe better, more democratic, more accountable, more successful. That doesn't mean selling our nation down the river, and there aren't many of us who are so europhile that we are blind to its weaknesses. It's only a pity that those who matter in terms of our campaigning have seldom been keen on nailing our colours to the mast.

London is more complex. With its plethora of voting systems, first past the post for the Assembly constituencies, alternative vote for the Mayor and a D'Hondt based top-up list for the city-wide Assembly Members, how best to focus our efforts where they will have most effect is difficult to pinpoint. However, I think that we need to work on giving people something positive to inspire them out to vote for us.

It's time that we really learned to utilise our elected representatives better, especially our four London-wide ones, to fly the flag in places where we are weak, getting Liberal Democrat views into the local media. In turn, that means conveying a reasonably consistent message, and repeating it until it sinks in.

Time is not on our side though, with another region-wide elction next year, and we need to learn fast...

Pachyderm in bureaucrat-induced non-rampage!

Most people with Indian blood in their veins love elephants, or as the press here refer to them in their curiously old-fashioned manner, pachyderms. I am no exception to that rule so today was an opportunity to meet an elephant and, more importantly, introduce Ros to one for the first time.

I had arranged a sightseeing trip to an organic spice plantation in central Goa, as I know that Ros loves flora and cooking, in the knowledge that the farm has elephants. I made sure that I had packed two large apples and a camera, and we set off with our driver towards the town of Ponda.

The tour of the plantation was very interesting, and we both learned a surprising amount about the various spices and fruits to be found. However, for me, the highlight was our meeting with Ganga, a female pachyderm, weighing five tons. Asking the mahout for permission, I fed Ganga an apple, stroking her trunk and forehead whilst Ros looked on. I then passed Ros the other apple so that she could feed Ganga too and touch her leathery hide.

Asiatic elephants, once trained, are wonderfully placid, gentle creatures. Just don't try this with African elephants...

Bob Shaw: it's not about cojones, it's about hypocrisy, stupid...

I read Bob's recent conspiracy theory about the Crewe and Nantwich by-election candidate selection with some interest, as the only member of the English Candidates Committee who blogs.

Now I'm not a perpetual defender of the processes of the Party, although I'm perfectly happy to debate why things are done the way they are. On the other hand, it disturbs me when the 'system' is attacked without any factual basis for doing so other than ill-informed accusation.

Marc Goodwin is unhappy, perhaps justifiably, that he wasn't shortlisted for the selection of our by-election candidate, despite having already having been selected as the PPC for the next General Election for the seat. I don't know Marc, have no idea how capable he is, although he will have made it through a development day, indicating that he has met the standards required for approval.

He has made the assumption that he was not shortlisted for reasons of political correctness, although on what basis he reaches that conclusion only he can tell. He certainly hasn't, to date, indicated any evidence other than his own supposition. Now, Bob has jumped in to support him, as this clearly fits with Bob's conspiracy theorist view of the world whereby anyone who disagrees with him must be a fool to be ridiculed or a Cowley Street plant. He hasn't suggested that we are part of an alien, reptilian conspiracy, but I'm sure that, in time, we will be denounced as such.

Normally, such foolishness is best ignored, but one thing that really annoys me is hypocrisy. And like so many self-declared 'beacons of truth', Bob likes the bully pulpit. He tends not to like it when people have a go back (plus ca change...). And so, when confronted with a number of responses contrary to his position, instead of accepting that he might be wrong, he changes his argument, on this occasion stating that he would have made the same point regardless of whether or not a woman had been selected.

Not read your original piece, Bob? Not even the title? What an idiot! However, given the number of times he talks about balls, it's a pity that instead of having any attached, he has to just talk them instead...

London - a campaign in review

It would appear that an inquest is already underway into our disappointing result in London. So, I think to myself, perhaps a comment or two of my own is in order...

Picking our candidates earlier is indeed a good thing. We do it for Europe about eighteen months out, and we probably should have done for London. Perhaps the then Regional Candidates Chair should explain why we didn't...

The Mayoral candidate is a different question. A year ago, Ken looked pretty unassailable and both the Conservatives and ourselves were finding it difficult to attract 'sacrificial lambs' to run against him. In all honesty, had anyone known that Ken was going to implode so dramatically, I suspect that volunteers to take him on would have been much easier to find.

Indeed, the difficulty for Brian Paddick this time was that Boris's emergence as the Conservative candidate rather sucked the oxygen out of the other campaigns and a classic third (and for that matter, fourth) party squeeze ensued.

One interesting aspect was the result of the Greens on the Assembly relative to their Mayoral vote. They clearly managed to do much better on the Party top-up list than Sian Berry's vote would have implied. Perhaps our efforts to be seen as a serious party of government have damaged our ability to attract protest votes which have gone Green instead?

The Regional Candidates Committee will meet on Tuesday to continue their review of the GLA/Mayoral selection. Whilst I won't be there myself (romance 1, politics 0), I look forward with, until my return at least, vague interest as to their progress...

Fraternal greetings from the People's Republic of Kerala

Ros is taking a swim, so I thought that I'd take the opportunity to reconnect to the outside world.

After three days in Bangalore to recover from jetlag and acclimitise to the weather (it's about 35 degrees and the sun is beating down from an almost entirely blue sky), we've moved on to romantic India of legend, with a visit to Mysore, where we toured the Maharajah's palace before retiring to our hotel overlooking the famous Brindavan Gardens.

We stood on the terrace of our hotel, drink in hand, as darkness fell and the evening light and water show began. The gardens are renown for their appearances in Hindi movies and the moment when the lights all come on at once is absolutely amazing.

Since then it has been glorious scenery, amazing hotels and general pampering all the way. We've tested ayurvedic massage - in the cause of research, we haven't enjoyed it at all, you understand - eaten good food, seen some amazing sights and generally taken on a slightly darker skin tone.

Today, we leave our resort in the Kerala backwaters for a day on a houseboat. Think of it as being like the Norfolk Broads but with guaranteed sunshine...

Indian politics: it's all about loyalty, really

It's rather warm here in Bangalore but, just as at home in London, Karnataka is awash with election fever, with polls due to take place here on 10 May for the State Assembly.

The various political parties are vying for supremacy, as observers are of the view that the result in this southern state will influence the timing of Lok Sabha (the Indian equivalent of the Commons) elections to come. One interesting effect of this is the flurry of party switching for personal advantage. Whilst at home, political switching at local level is not unheard of, at more rarified levels it is extremely newsworthy.

Here, it appears to be part of day to day political life, and the threat of switching in order to obtain what is called a 'ticket' or candidacy is used, and not just behind closed doors either, but often through the pages of the highly influential local and regional press. Blackmail it may be, but it appears to be successful, especially as personality plays a much more significant role in getting elected than it does in British politics.

One of the side effects of such behaviour is to engender a tremendous amount of cynicism. It is assumed that politicians are corrupt, the argument being reduced to the degree to which they are. One result of this is that potential candidates are obliged to make a public declaration of their assets, the theory being, one presumes, that if a candidate is significantly enriched in the course of a term of office, this can be made known to the electorate.

Interestingly, two researchers from Harvard recently published the findings of their review of the estates of successful and unsuccessful Conservative parliamentary candidates. They discovered that those who had been successful tended to leave larger estates than those who weren't. Now I wouldn't suggest that patronage is necessarily profitable, but it does make you wonder whether all politicians go into the business for purely altruistic reasons...

Hello! Amaranth Edition: the sun shone and the bride looked radiant

It was such a wonderful day in Suffolk yesterday, with bright sunshine over Otley Hall, the sound of lute music accompanied by the call of peacocks and some of Mark and Ros's dearest friends and family there to witness their marriage. Naturally, I was there to represent the family. After all, we've been watching over Mark for some time now.

Mark was first to arrive in his sage green and cream striped frock coat, greeting guests, walking the grounds and keeping a stray chicken out of the Great Hall itself. By 2.50, Ros had arrived, flowers most tastefully arranged in her hair, wearing a cream brocade dress coat and carrying her bouquet in cream and white.

The Superintendent Registrar, having carried out the required checks, then presided over a moving and joyful ceremony as the happy couple exchanged vows and rings, with readings from Ros's friend, Bronagh, and Mark's father.

Champagne and canapes were taken in the lovely garden, with its H-shaped pond, moat and thoughtfully designed wilderness area, whilst the children present chased the surprisingly patient chickens and enjoyed the opportunity for play. Meanwhile, group photographs were taken, followed by some pictures of the bride and groom using the house as a backdrop.

Later, the bride, groom and their guests enjoyed a three-course meal highlighting locally-sourced pork and shellfish washed down with some excellent wines before the evening culminated in speeches by the acting-father of the bride, the groom and the best man (the groom's younger brother, Kirk), with Master of Cermonies duties performed by the dashing, and kilted, John Barrett. The cake was then cut before the bride and groom retired to the Salthouse Harbour hotel prior to their honeymoon in southern India.

It was a simply wonderful day, and the best wishes of the people of Amaranth go with them in the years to come...

And so the big day has arrived...

Welcome to the Salthouse Harbour Hotel, on the quayside in Ipswich, where a slightly nervous but pretty excited bureaucrat is preparing for a day to remember.


I've had a decent night's sleep, eaten a hearty breakfast, and successfully transferred from one hotel to the next. In about two hours, I'll be off to Otley Hall for a truly great day.


The sun is beginning to burn off the morning clouds and I have a good feeling. Wish us luck!

As Lucy might have put it, "Good grief, Gordon Brown!"

It is with increasing disbelief that I watch the neanderthal corps of Labour MP's stride into battle in defence of the poor following the abolition of the 10% rate band. Even those I considered to be of an intellectual capacity appropriate to being a competent legislator have been shown up as apparently lazy and feckless.

The cry goes up, "We didn't know what the impact of the last budget would be, it's all far too complex for our small brains to comprehend!". So, for Gordon Prentice and so many of his colleagues, let's make it simple. We told you so. We told you that, without compensating people through tax credits, those earning between approximately £5,000 and £18,000 would be worse off as a result.

What did you do? You applauded. You acclaimed Gordon Brown as a genius, so much so that you made him your leader without so much as a notional contest.

To be honest, I assumed that you didn't care about single, childless people. We aren't at the front of the queue when it comes to hardship cases - the elderly and small children make much better stories. And besides, you probably assumed that those of us who voted Labour had nowhere else to go anyway.

It would appear that I was wrong. There was no underlying principle, no strategy. You simply didn't understand what was going on, only that your job was to applaud and acclaim come what may. Astonishing!

This, apparently, is what the 'Mother of Parliaments' is reduced to. Frankly, I'm embarassed. On the other hand, I'll be looking forward to public meetings where there is an opportunity to question my local Labour MP. His defence of Labour intellectualism should be entertaining to watch...

Nervous? Me? Why should I be nervous?

A year ago, as our friend Julia points out, I fell into the category of people least likely to be married within a year. Not only was I doggedly single and quite hopelessly disorganised, but I was getting ready to move house and was somewhere between San Francisco and Melbourne, on my way to, eventually, Vanuatu. And then Ros came along...

It's been a bit of a whirlwind since then, with all of the good things that romance brings. We've gotten to know each other (not necessarily as easy or obvious as it sounds), and done a vast amount of organisation, much of it aimed towards tomorrow. Oh yes, tomorrow - the big day.

Normally, your wedding day is organised by parents, better still, her parents, who even pay for it all. On this occasion, given that we're a bit older, we've had to do all of the work ourselves and it's amazing just how much there is to think about, from caterers to florists, from wedding stationery to the Registrar. Luckily, Ros is hyper-organised (it's good that one of us is...) and everything appears to be in place for the perfect wedding.

Interestingly, my rather more laid back demeanor comes into play here. I assume that everything will be fine, on the basis that it's far too late to do anything about it. The people that we've engaged to deal with the various aspects are very nice, very patient, and give every impression of knowing exactly what they're doing. So, just as it is when I'm flying, I trust them on the basis that I couldn't do the job myself.

So I'm pretty relaxed, for now at least. I'm focussed on the end product of the day, i.e. being married to Ros and starting the rest of our lives together. And you know something, everything is going to be just fine...