I'm on my way from misery to Luxembourg today...

With apologies to the Proclaimers, and a few days too late... but I liked the line, and don't see why I shouldn't use it, just because I'm in Mumbai!

I somehow managed to get virtually everything done before I left for Luxembourg and, despite a few alarms, I reached my hotel safely on Saturday evening whilst my luggage enjoyed Saturday night in Frankfurt. Not a great start...

Luxembourg was surprisingly pleasant though, and quite easy to get around. So I went drinking in Wiltz (an eminently drinkable riesling for the record), castle exploring in Vianden and hiking in the Ardennes south of Clervaux. It's a very pretty place and well worth an explore.

Politics in Luxembourg is normally pretty dull but the latest French financial scandal (Chirac and De Villepin's apparent attempt to smear Sarkozy) has its heart in the Grand Duchy, as Clearstream, the financial institution alleged to have been used as the conduit for passing on slush money, is Luxembourg based. The locals are worried about the implications for banking secrecy, especially given that the country's wealth is closely linked to its ability to attract bank deposits from rich French and German residents - not always with an aim towards evading tax...

And now I'm in Mumbai, visiting my family for a few days before the next stop on the 2006 Valladares world tour, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam.

More news as it comes in!

An unexpected sense of loss

Today's word is 'weltschmerz'...

Pronunciation: 'velt-"shmerts

Function: noun

Usage: often capitalized

Etymology: German, from Welt world + Schmerz pain

1 : mental depression or apathy caused by comparison of the actual state of the world with an ideal state

2 : a mood of sentimental sadness

I've not had a great day. I'm tired, I'm frustrated and, worst of all, I've only just realised it. There's a decided feeling of fin de siecle in the air and I've no desire to deny it anymore. I've been so busy trying to fulfil my obligations that I failed to realise that I wasn't enjoying them, and the very fact that I consider them to have been obligations is, in itself, somehow disconcerting.

So, what to do? Well, I could just write the longest resignation letter in history, and it would have to be to take in all the roles I've taken on over the past eighteen months. Alternatively, I could disappear in search of my sense of joy. Perhaps I might remember where I left it... So, let's see what happens if I use Frederich von Schiller as my inspiration...

Freude, schöner Götterfunken,

Tochter aus Elysium,

wir betreten feuertrunken,

Himmlische, dein Heiligtum!

Deine Zauber binden wieder,

was die Mode streng geteilt:

alle Menschen werden Brüder,

wo dein snafter Flügel weilt.

And with that, Mark was gone, who knew where, in search of who knew what.

An apology can be a matter of honour

It has been brought to my attention that what I took to be a mildly amusing reference to one of my Conservative opponents has in fact really upset her. Now given my apparent reputation for being quite a gentleman at heart (I'm kind to animals, try to see the best in people and am loyal to my friends), I am disappointed that my frog-related postings have had such an impact.

Accordingly, it is therefore entirely appropriate that I offer a sincere public apology to Cllr Robin Crookshank Hilton for any offence caused by my reference to what is, to be frank, a bizarre and curiously anonymous attack on her character posted on the Internet. Given that I have no real interest as to what she, or anyone else, does in their spare time as long as it is legal, it would certainly be wrong of me to condemn, or even allude to condemnation of, her extra-curricular activities.

It is no defence to suggest that my series of frog references was merely an expression of a well-developed sense of whimsy (although those of you who know me will acknowledge that it is one of my more eccentric traits) and it is therefore a matter of honour to offer her this apology. A colleague will be conveying something a little more tangible as a peace offering, and I hope that it can be accepted in the spirit in which it is intended.

I would make one small request in return. If I do upset one of our local Conservatives again, and it isn't my current intention to do so, it might be more effective to approach me directly rather than approach our Group Leader. You see, it puts him in a rather awkward position because, whilst I have an ex-officio role within the Group as a Local Party Chair, he has no influence or control over me other than the regard in which I hold him. I actually like Nick a lot and am loyal to him and the Group, but still... just a thought, eh?

What about my human rights?

For liberal civil servants, it's been a pretty ghastly weekend.

First, the Government start to float the idea that the Human Rights Act is causing problems in terms of their crime and community safety goals. If that wasn't bad enough, this morning's newspapers are full of claims that our Prime Minister is proposing to 'rescue' public services.

The Human Rights Act was one of the key things that led me to believe in 1997 that a Labour government would be, on balance, not unbearable (it didn't lead me to vote for them but...). The concept that citizens might have certain inalienable rights was long overdue and it was, after all, Liberal Democrat policy.

Recent events have conspired to create an atmosphere whereby it is possible to link any instance where the criminal justice system has failed to a 'complication brought about by the Human Rights Act'. The fact that in every instance, the problem could more validly be connected to an administrative failure, is not mentioned. Why? Bureaucracy is hated even more than 'liberal lawyers'. If politicians (and I don't spare Liberal Democrats from this charge - are you reading this, Vince Cable?) insist on slagging off the civil service at every opportunity, you hardly encourage the best and the brightest to join, do you? Most errors are committed, quite innocently, by junior members of staff trying to keep the system operating with judicious use of string and sealing wax. Training is poor, procedural changes too frequent, reforms ever ongoing.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Pay your bureaucrats properly, get the best, and you could make real savings by cutting the number of staff needed to fix problems caused by not having the ability to do things properly in the first place. A lot of what we do is process driven and there are usually only limited options. The secret is to know what those options are and, most important of all, why each is relevant and what impact it might have.

And so we are to be rescued... by a man who, quite frankly, appears to hate us and all that we stand for. Earth to Leader, Earth to Leader, you've been in charge for nine years now, so it must be your fault, mustn't it? How long can you blame previous administrations before your credibility runs out? The public sector doesn't need rescuing, it needs some certainty and a little tender loving care. That doesn't mean throwing a shedload of money at it, nor does it mean increasing staffing numbers. What it means is coming up with a clear concept of what government does, what it can do and what it should do?

Here's an outline draft for you to play with...

• government protects the citizenry from external and internal threats to its safety, defines a framework within which society interacts and provides core public services to enable equality of opportunity
• government can enable people to take control of their own lives, create a level playing field of opportunity, not of outcome, and protect those less able to protect themselves
• government should support freedom of the individual within the context of a free society, accept that its actions should be justified and, equally important, accountable and act as a force for good in a multilateral world

The concepts aren't difficult, the practice is, but it comes down to building a partnership with all of the stakeholders (to steal some classic New Labour jargon). I'm a stakeholder too, both as a civil servant and as a taxpayer. So at least look as though you care, can't you?...

Reorganisation and angst in a corridor of uncertainty

I work for HM Revenue and Customs, as some of my gentle readers will be aware, an organisation which has had a few mishaps in recent years. Given that we raised approximately £380 billion for the Exchequer last year, you would think it self-evident that getting the structure right would probably be a good idea.

For many years, I toiled away, safe in the knowledge that I knew my management chain, could identify it most of the way up to the Board of Inland Revenue, and could be fairly certain that everyone in that chain had a vague idea as to what I did and where it fitted in.

Sadly, as the Department moves towards increasingly specialised roles, and away from the old concept of generalisation, I'm beginning to experience some existential doubts. I understand, and accept, that technology allows us to operate in ways unimaginable when I started but the old skills, whereby experienced officers could spot discrepancies, errors and evasions simply by reviewing a tax return have been replaced by risk analysis done by computer. The human touch seems to be being lost, at a time when the public are becoming increasingly keen on quality customer service.

We've also imported 'management skills' from the private sector, a concept which claims that a manager can manage any type of work as the skills required to do so are the same the world over. If only life were that simple... In a basic clerical situation, it may well be effective, but I work in an environment bound by tax law, and if you've ever seen a library of tax legislation, you'll understand how complex that is.

My current boss has had the dubious pleasure of managing me for more than a year now. He doesn't really understand what I do so ends up asking me for a report whenever an issue relevant to the group comes up for discussion. However, I'm not in those meetings so, if a counter-argument is put, he isn't equipped to fight our corner, a key role for a manager, I might suggest.

Since merging with our friends in Customs and Excise (they can kick down your door at four in the morning and requisition helicopters... am I jealous, you bet I am!), life has been one of permanent revolution, with new structures, new management jargon and the reconstruction of all that was recognisable as a chain of command. The latest rumour is that my team will be managed remotely by an Senior Officer (SEO, in old money) somewhere in London and Anglia Region. I look forward to discussing my promotion potential with someone seventy miles away who meets me once a month, if I'm actually at my desk.

I'm still loyal to, and care deeply about, the concept of HM Revenue and Customs as a core public service, after all, that's the very reason I joined the Department in 1986. However, it would be nice to be reminded in the midst of a maelstrom of reorganisation that someone out there cared about me...

Now that the counting is over...

And so, what happened to me in Village ward?

http://www.southwark.gov.uk/Uploads/File_20983.pdf

I suppose that I should be disappointed to finish behind the Greens but, given that they live in the ward and I don't, I can't really complain. I'll have to give some serious thought as to what I do next time, especially given our success in East Dulwich. If I want to be elected, I'm going to have to make a decision as to how committed I can be and if the answer is "not enough", I'll need to decide how else I can serve in the next four years.

In the meantime, there is much to do. I need to get my work as Regional Secretary up to date (fast!), deal with the outstanding paperwork from the election and get the house in order, all in just twelve days (yes, I'm off again...).

I still need some sleep too...

The day of the two imposters

So, the campaign is over and the voters have spoken. Well, at least, quite a few of them have spoken... and what were the results?

In East Dulwich, our gallant crew swept all before them, especially our Labour opponents. The Conservatives made no impression and the squeeze message seems to have resonated amongst the electorate. Result - a 600+ vote majority for Richard Thomas, Jonathan Mitchell and James Barber...

http://www.southwark.gov.uk/Uploads/File_20969.pdf

Unfortunately, we weren't as fortunate in Peckham Rye and, despite their best efforts, Annie Bingham fell short by just 50 votes...

http://www.southwark.gov.uk/Uploads/File_20978.pdf

And in Knights Hill, our three candidates fell victim to the Labour surge...

http://www.lambeth.gov.uk/NR/rdonlyres/D0E72067-F98F-40DB-9798-E52330ADFAAA/0/LambethElectionResults2006.pdf

You might be wondering what happened to me and the answer was that I came 10th out of 11, achieving 484 votes which, I believe, is my best ever tally. I'll write more soon...

And to think I had thought they couldn't get worse!

Alright, the lies and the attempts to scare little old ladies were bad, and it is 'unfortunate' that Charles Clarke has released more than a thousand foreign criminals onto our streets as part of his 'tough on crime' strategy, but I never thought that Labour would stoop to personal attacks on one of our candidates.

Banging on about the fact that your candidates are local is one thing (and I'm so pleased that you mentioned it, given the home address of our own dear MP - remember, Tessa Jowell lives in Kentish Town, some considerable distance outside of Dulwich and West Norwood), but attacking one of our candidates for moving ward is quite outrageous, especially given the facts.

Richard Thomas's first ward (Abbey) was abolished in the last round of boundary changes and he moved on to fight, and win, Chaucer in 2002. Since then, he's got married to Julia and has a new daughter, Megan, born last year, so they needed a larger place, so they moved to East Dulwich. As a result, he's given up his safe seat to fight something a bit tougher and, more importantly, close to his home (if his house was on the other side of the street, he'd live in East Dulwich ward).

And so, I have only this to say... Charlie Smith, Les Alden and Helen Morrissey, you are slime, and your agent, Jeremy Frazer, should hang his head in shame (look the word up, Jeremy, there's a good chap...). You have finally debased the political process to the point where you have nothing to offer other than to cast slurs upon someone who wants to serve his community and actually believes in putting something back into it. Are you proud of yourselves? Because if you are, you have disbarred yourselves from any respect from me, now and forever. Oh, and Helen, you should spend more time in church on a Sunday reflecting on whether your campaigning reflects a Catholic ethos. To save you having to think about that though, I'll tell you, it doesn't. Hypocrite!

You have one chance to redeem yourselves in my eyes, and that is to offer a full and public apology, but I suspect that you haven't got the moral or ethical guts to do so. Normally, I make a point of not making personal attacks on my political opponents, a standard which the four of you might well aim to aspire towards. Of course, you probably can't spell ethics, so I'm undoubtedly wasting my time, aren't I?

A Kiwi on the doorstep

Another day of delivering, this time our blue envelopes. The organisation is so good now that the ward can be delivered in one day and today, I had the pleasure of a guest deliverer.

We've had visits from the Party Leader, from the Chair of the Parliamentary Party, from the Party President and from our Home Affairs spokesperson but, better than all of those, was the visit from my cousin Kim, all the way from Wellington, New Zealand (although she's staying with my parents in North London at the moment).

And of course, as I had deliveries to make, I got her to join in. In a spirit of reciprocity, I did make dinner for the two of us, grilled salmon with a creamy lemon and dill sauce, potatoes, green beans and a bottle of wine, with strawberries and cream for dessert. Yes, I can cook (a bit). Now if I could only master housework...

All I want for Christmas is some sleep

I am so tired...

Long hours at the office, long hours on the campaign trail, the occasional hour of sleep, 4 May can't come soon enough...

It does seem to be going well though, although you won't drag a prediction of victory out of me, be it in East Dulwich or Village ward (remember, vote for me and I won't turn you into a frog, or Kim Humphries for that matter - and let's face it, the frog has greater integrity...), I am confident that we've fought the best campaign we can fight.

And now I'm off to get some sleep... it won't be enough but...

As the days grow longer...

... the campaign continues to heat up. Our side are throwing their hearts and souls into the campaign and our gallant opponents are plumbing new depths in their plot to terrify every little old lady in London. It's reached the point where winning is more than just a desire, it's a necessity. Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to send a clear message to Southwark Labour telling them that the politics of fear is exactly what debases our political system.

And anyone who wants to defend their stance can start by asking how a bunch of people who came into government talking about an ethical foreign policy, a Bill of Rights and a cleaner political environment became the people who support by-passing the United Nations, have stripped away more of our civil liberties than any other government and assume that giving rich people a seat in Parliament in exchange for money they're too embarrassed to admit to publicly is anything other than moral and ethical bankruptcy. And then, perhaps, they can talk to me about their commitment to civil liberties, democratic politics and a society where respect and ethics are uppermost.

It becomes a moral duty to drive their messengers out of office and, regardless of what happens on 4 May, I hope that Labour candidates across the country understand that it isn't about them, it's about what they are representing. And get this, your leaders don't even respect you. In fact, they don't like you much either. And worst of all, and even the more naive of you must be beginning to wonder about this, they're willing to sacrifice you to stay in office. Good luck, and sleep well. Just don't think about the leaflets you're delivering...

Rain, the leafleteer's enemy

I was a day behind with my leaflet schedule after our foray into Village ward yesterday but like a good trooper, turned up this morning to help with our stall in Lordship Lane - the shops there serve residents of East Dulwich, Peckham Rye, South Camberwell and Village, so it's a good opportunity to meet voters and give them a face to match with the leaflets.

Cold and wndy it may have been, but people seemed to be very friendly, and I had an opportunity to make small talk with a representative of the Greens, who had a stall just down the street. To be honest, I have no real problem with the Greens who, for the most part, seem like a decent bunch who really care about their community. A bit naive, but then that's part of their charm. An old Young Liberal friend of mine who resigned over merger with the SDP is now leader of the Greens on Kirklees Council, where they form part of the administration. I'm confident that he's taken up the message on community activism and does things like proper canvassing and genuine doorstep politics. It works...

And then back on the increasingly cold, wet streets of East Dulwich, bringing our message of positive change to the voters. Given that Labour seem determined to scare everyone into locking themselves into their homes and cowering behind the sofa, I'm confident that our strategy will work. Besides, all of this leafletting is beginning to have its effects on my less than svelte figure!

Down these mean streets...

Village ward is a pretty place for a stroll on a sunny afternoon, especially now with so many trees blossoming, and, after a rather miserable morning, the sun came out to shine on the Liberal Democrat campaign team in Village.

I admit that leafleting in Village is rather more than a gentle stroll, especially given the lengthy drives and garden paths on any walk you care to pick. A walk that would take 75 minutes to deliver in East Dulwich takes twice that in Village.

One feature of campaigning in Dulwich as that the locals are quite discreet about their political favours. Posters are rare, to the extent that even the two Labour candidates have yet to put up a poster in their own homes! Of course, being a Labour candidate in Village ward isn't easy, as Barbara Portwin has already discovered in her now suspended blog.

One curious fact that I recently uncovered was our performance in Village ward in the GLA elections. Yes, we came third, but it was a remarkably good third, the full result being:

• Conservatives 26.6%
• Labour 24.5%
• Liberal Democrats 23.5%
• Greens 15.3%
• Others 10.1%

Now if that result were to be repeated, I might be very close to getting elected...

But enough of that, it's time to kick my shoes off and have some dinner!

A manifesto for Village ward!

If there are any voters reading this (and you never know, do you?), they might be wondering why they should vote Liberal Democrat. So, for their benefit, and for any of my readers who might be curious, here are our 'Six to Fix' for the next four years...

1. Keep council tax down - our minority administration has taken Southwark from the seventh highest Band D charge in London to the eighth lowest (out of thirty-two). That's better value for those who suffer from low incomes, especially pensioners, whose income hasn't kept pace with utility bills.
2. More powers for wardens - Southwark now has the largest team of community wardens in the country - reclaiming the streets for everyone and cracking down on anti-social behaviour.
3. Three new secondary schools - now that control has passed back into the hands of local councillors - Labour's record was so bad that they had control taken away from them by a Labour government! And to show that we have the interests of the whole borough at heart, they'll be placed in the north, centre and south of the borough.
4. Double recycling - recycling trebled over the past four years. We'll aim to double that over the next four years. Less rubbish in landfills saves us all money and enhances our environment.
5. 3,000 affordable homes for local people - I know so many people in the twenties and thirties who can't afford to buy a home near their workplace - teachers, nurses, public servants. We need to enable people to remain in their own communities and not be driven out by high housing costs.
6. 21st century leisure centres - if we're serious about improving the health of the nation, we need to provide facilities that people want to use. That means updating those leisure centres we have so that they meet the standards we all expect.

I'm proud to stand for these core commitments, and I know that my fellow candidates are too. Local government can play a key role in improving the lives of our communities and Liberal Democrats have already demonstrated our commitment to Southwark residents over the past four years. So, if you're convinced, vote for us on 4 May. If not, but you have questions, get in touch!

Meanwhile, back on the campaign trail...

I'm hosting the campaign HQ here in East Dulwich which means, and I have mixed feelings about this, that I'm obliged to stay at home whilst we're open. So, what to do?

Ironically, the solution I've found is to tidy the house, which is beginning to have an impact. The kitchen looks like you might be able to prepare food without the risk of getting food poisoning (alright, I exaggerate how bad it was somewhat, but you know where I'm coming from), and even the living room looks vaguely acceptable.

When the campaign day comes to an end, I am able to get out and deliver my rounds. It was nice to get out in the sunshine and meet a few voters, most of whom were at least friendly and some of whom were very supportive. I even found time to do some vital food shopping (cats have to eat, you know!).

Meantime, it would appear that the mystery of the missing Green candidates has been solved. Apparently, there was some sort of cock-up with their nominations. Whilst I regret that they haven't been able to take part - they were a pleasure to work alongside at the General Election count (Kim Humphries take note...) - it does take some of the complications out of our campaign. At least, from the perspective of Green voters, our team of candidates are genuinely committed to environmental issues, and have a track record of achievement, especially Richard Thomas.

More developments as they occur...

Opponents are people too...

I've been doing more research on my Conservative opponent in Village ward. She's really fascinating but someone, somewhere, really doesn't like her.

Frankly, my only question is, "Why she is a Conservative?". She seems like a rather nice person, on the basis of the brief conversation we had on 2 February. On the other hand, Kim Humphries... well, words fail me. The claims of Dulwich Conservatives in terms of their impact on the effectiveness of Southwark Council are laughable, and perhaps I ought to remind Kim that there are twenty-eight Liberal Democrat councillors to six Conservatives (one of whom defected from us...). Their attacks on Labour are fascinating given that they voted for a Labour mayor last year. Contrary, or was it simply revenge for our beating Kim into third place in Dulwich and West Norwood last year?

Meanwhile, I note that one of my Labour opponents, Barbara Portwin, has suspended her nascent blog. Having had it brought to my attention by a friend, I did enjoy her discomfort on being challenged about Iraq. She did come across as a bit wet and I'm really sorry that she thinks it unfair to be challenged on issues beyond those related to Southwark Council. As my primary school teacher said so cogently, "Life isn't fair.". If you represent a political party at any level, you should expect to be challenged on any element of their policy, especially in a ward with a highly articulate electorate. Besides, if your entire campaign is founded on making people afraid, you deserve everything you get.

I wasn't expecting this campaign to be as much fun as it is turning out to be...

A small, but important, point of clarification

I have been contacted by Frances Biggs, Southwark's Acting Returning Officer, with regard to my posting of 2 April. At the time of writing that piece, I was led to understand that nominations would be accepted on delivery, incorrectly, as it turned out. Frances did, very kindly, review the documents to ensure that they would be in order once filed, but was, in accordance with Election Regulations, unable to accept them outside of office hours.

In the end, the nominations were delivered to the Town Hall at approximately 10.45 a.m. on Monday morning...

And a warm welcome to our newest readers!

I have to admit to being astounded by the news that I've managed to upset our friends in Dulwich and West Norwood Conservative Association.

News reaches me third or fourth hand that the newly appointed leader of the Conservative Group on Southwark Council is unhappy about one of my postings. Now, putting aside the fact that I publish all comments apart from those that are clearly insane or commercial in nature, and that my identity, name and address are a matter of public record, I am disappointed that Cllr Kim Humphries apparently sees it necessary to run to our Group Leader to order that my comments be withdrawn. Bless...

I know that our gallant effort in coming second in Dulwich and West Norwood at the General Election upset him (especially as he was the Conservative candidate!) but I would suggest that if he has a problem, he should contact me, either via this blog or via my e-mail address.

I just thought that it was quite amusing. Ah, I get it, politicians aren't supposed to have a sense of fun. Sorry, Kim, if only you'd said so...

And the tension mounts...

The deadline for nominations draws ever closer and, as Local Party Chair, I'm responsible for getting our nominations in for College, East Dulwich, South Camberwell and Village wards. East Dulwich went in on Thursday, so three more still to do.

Amazingly, our Acting Returning Officer is at her desk this afternoon (and likely to be there until midnight, she expects!) so I've agreed to drop in College and Village (vote for me, I won't turn you into a frog!) ward nominations this afternoon, leaving just South Camberwell to do. Hopefully, that should get done this evening...

Our Labour opponents continue with their series of lies, half-truths and distortions in an increasing unedifying attempt to retain East Dulwich ward. I wouldn't mind so much but their promises seem to mostly consist of doing the things that they should have already been doing. The fact that they deselected one of their number indicates their previous dedication to their duty as councillors. Oh well, if you can't run on your record, lie about someone else's, I suppose...

The campaign starts here...

My nomination papers should be signed and submitted shortly, so I ought to declare my candidacy now in the Liberal Democrat interest for Village ward in the London Borough of Southwark.

Village ward is one of the nicer parts of London, comprising of the heart of Dulwich Village. At the moment, it is a split ward, one Labour, two Conservative but we did quite well there in the General Election so whilst a victory appears unlikely, I want to see how well we can do against our Conservative and Labour opponents. I hope that Labour's campaign in Village is rather more positive than their effort in East Dulwich so far.

Curiously, Village ward is a contest between two American Democrats, the incumbent Labour councillor (Michelle Pierce) and her Conservative wannabe replacement (Robin Crookshank Hilton).

Perhaps I'm not the only liberal in my family...

My cousin Kim, not previously noted for her political views, has started her own blog recently. In recent weeks, she's started posting some interesting stuff from perspectives that I can't really represent.

Here are her views on the issue of the dress code in Luton and Islam... I'm not sure that I would be quite so forthright but I can't help but agree with her.

When attack is the worst form of defence

My post earlier today on the subject of the Darbyshires has drawn some interesting comments, as you can see.

I hold no mandate to defend Leah and Robin, and it ill befits me to try and do so as I really don't know them that well. But perhaps one of them is reading this and so, treat this as an open letter...

Dear Leah and Robin,

I have read your blog since it was launched and, whilst I had some doubts about the wisdom of some of the postings made (and you may remember the occasional polite e-mail suggesting that you might like to rethink/clarify your words), I saw no fundamental harm in what you were doing. Your style isn't mine - and there are some very good reasons for that, gender, age and perspective being just three - and I did think that the comments about your relationship were less than well-suited to being published on a political aggregated blog.

The satirical blog that emerged and, I must admit, remained unseen by me, was just what I feared would emerge. Your style was far too tempting to escape parody for long. You might have been better off giving up the blog, or starting a new one and only releasing details of it to those close to you. Instead, you turned inexcusably nasty, and worst of all, picked on an innocent bystander. And that's when it turned personal and nasty. People started to take sides and, when it comes down to choices, the innocent bystander is always going to win (and worst of all from your perspective, she really was an innocent bystander and most people knew it).

To then start a series of generic attacks on the basis of looks and sexual jealousy was so unnecessary because the neutrals started coming off of the fence too. Not everyone can look like a movie star or a model, in fact. most people don't. You don't either, as far as many of the comments that I've seen are concerned. That's not to say that you're ugly, plain or stunningly attractive, I've simply not given it a huge amount of thought because you're not my type - my friends will testify to that...

And so now you've resigned as Party members. Perhaps politics isn't for you, I don't know. However, whatever you do in politics from here on in, the story of your blog will follow you - people are kind of mean like that. It's a pity because you might have had a successful career in the party if you hadn't taken it all so personally. Politics is a tough game, and that's one of the reasons I don't tend to fight elections (I find the ease with which lies are told deeply troubling).

And now perhaps we can stop worrying about it all and get on with the rest of our lives?

Yours regretfully,

Mark Valladares

Chair, Dulwich and West Norwood Liberal Democrats

The Darbyshires - a note of regret

I read the recent stream of vitriol from Leah Darbyshire with some regret, as I never really got to know her when Robin worked for Southwark (not that I had much opportunity to talk to Robin either).

And so, what do I think? My first impression on meeting the two of them was, I admit, to ask the question, "porn star or rock star?". Neither of them fit the image of "Liberal Democrat activist", although I'm not sure how that is a bad thing. The blog could, from the perspective of an outsider, have read as a spoof and Leah's literary style does tend to encourage satirism (sorry, Leah, but it does, honest...). I don't think that many are comfortable with the sort of "we're so much in love" stuff - it tends to go against the grain of slightly repressed Englishmen/women in any event.

Having said that, had she carried on like that, the whole affair might have faded away. The problem was Leah's tendancy to verbally assault people who, she assumed (sometimes incorrectly), were attacking her. It rather gave the impression of paranoia but did indeed attract an audience (admittedly including a number of people who enjoy the sight of a metaphorical car crash). Once again, I apologise if this sounds harsh, but some of the attacks come across as rather small-minded, vicious and ill-directed.

Perhaps, in a few years time, Leah might look back at some of these entries, and a glimmer of self-doubt rear its head. In the meantime, I'll stand on the foreshore, wishing the good ship Darbyshires a safe voyage...

It's official, I'd rather not be in Chicago...

Sometimes, you realise that you're fated to spend more time in a place than you had intended. For me, that place is Chicago's O'Hare Airport. Having spent most of Monday there, I had the pleasure of being scheduled to pass through it again on Thursday, so you can imagine my surprise and pleasure to check my itinerary that morning to find that I had been reassigned to a direct Delta flight from Cincinnati to Boston. Best of all, I could stay in Cincinnati for an extra hour and get into Boston nearly three hours earlier than originally planned. There had to be a catch...

I turned up at the airport to check in, only to be told that I had excess baggage which would need to be paid for. Arguing in vain that, had I still been flying United, I wouldn't have had a problem, I decided to head to the United desk to see what could be done. The guy at the United desk was very apologetic, even though it wasn't his fault, and rebooked me onto the later Chicago flight. We were running a little late but no matter, and I got on the plane, found my seat and immediately fell into a deep, untroubled sleep. An hour later, I woke up, looked out of the window and saw tarmac. "Good, we've arrived...", I thought, only to be informed that this was still Cincinnati. Hmmm... not good.

Eventually, we made it to Chicago and I went to the check-in desk for the next Boston plane, to be told that I had been rebooked onto the 21:30 flight. I wasn't wildly happy, as that meant an 00:30 arrival in Boston, but was pleasantly surprised when the same rather surly gate clerk handed me a boarding pass for the 19:00! And so, eventually, I made it to Boston, only three hours later than scheduled.

Boston is a city I visit frequently, both to shop and, more importantly, visit my cousin Clint and his Bulgarian wife, Kalina. The politics here is a bit dull (if you're a Republican, move to New Hampshire) but the local press are pretty feisty so there is always something happening.

And best of all, I'm decently rested for the first time in months. I'll need to be as, with just over six weeks to go until polling day, life is going to be manic from here on in...

A really meaningful day out

When I'm on the road, I do like to catch a really good museum, especially one that challenges and informs. It was therefore a great pleasure to find that Cincinnati hosts the National Underground Railroad Museum, dedicated to recording the history of those who aided runaway slaves to find freedom in the North, and of slavery itself. It would be very easy to just airbrush this shameful episode in American history out of the picture but, in fairness, Cincinnati has made a real effort by building an excellent exhibition space and putting it in a prominent location, right on the riverfront between the new Paul Brown Stadium (Cincinnati Bengals football - gridiron for my British audience) and the new Great American Ballpark (Cincinnati Reds baseball).

The exhibit includes an actual slave pen, interactive exhibits, animated films on themes related to freedom and enough historical information to keep anyone with a conscience busy for hours. Most interesting of all, is the evidence that simply making it to a free state was not good enough. The 1850 Fugitive Slave Act allowed those hunting runaway slaves to enter the free states, recapture fugitives, and return them to the South in chains. It even led to the kidnapping of hitherto free citizens in places as far north as New York.

Another piece of information that I had not been previously aware of was that women had been given voting rights in some states after independence, and that this right was gradually taken away from them in the early years of the nineteenth century. All in all, a really good exhibit and, if you're ever in the Cincinnati area, I would strongly recommend a visit.

Next, to the Cincinnati Reds Hall of Fame. I spent a number of years watching the Reds play baseball, trying to catch a game most years and I discovered that the game I saw in 1999 in Denver against the Colorado Rockies was the game in which the Reds scored their highest number of runs on the road since 1900 (the game ended 24-12). And I was there... The Cincinnati Red Stockings were America's very first professional baseball team (1869) and have a key place in the history of the sport. Given my fondness for numbers, it won't surprise you to know that I find baseball statistics fascinating...

Finally, back to the Hofbrauhaus for more beer and schnitzel. The beer is brewed according to the German purity laws under licence and supervision of the Staatliches Hofbrauhaus in Munich. So, real beer, great schnitzel and men singing German drinking songs in German. Weird...

Man, leather trousers, accordion, and it's not a fetish club, so...

... I must be in a Kentucky recreation of a German bierkeller. Obvious, really.

And, I have to admit, it's a pretty good one. The beer, very German tasting, is served in litres and half-litres, they serve a mean weisswurst and there are men singing German drinking songs armed only with a drumkit and an accordion. So far, so good.

It never fails to surprise how heavily influenced the Midwest is by Europe. Chicago has a huge Polish community, Milwaukee is very German (the mascots for the Milwaukee Brewers are giant sausages...) and Minneapolis is Scandinavian. Cincinnati tends towards German, with a suburb called Over-the-Rhine, and an enthusiasm for beer (and none of that ghastly standard American stuff, either). They like pretzels too, served properly, with mustard.

Cincinnati is, it's fair to say, quite familar to a European. It has a real heart, with things happening in the downtown areas, and a proper public transportation system, with buses that run regularly and have decent passenger numbers. I'm quite impressed but then, with a cat named after the city, you aren't too surprised, are you?

Anyway, I've enjoyed some beer, so it's time for sleep...

Welcome to WMJV in Cincinnati!

Noting my apologies to that comparatively little-known American sitcom (WKRP in Cincinnati for those of you unfamiliar with this minor classic), it's actually great to be here in the 'Queen City of the West', or less familiarly, 'Porkopolis'.

Yesterday saw an arduous journey between New York and here. I turned up at La Guardia, checked in at the self check-in desk to be informed that I couldn't get to Cincinnati at all. A very kind agent put me on standby on the flight before mine (which still hadn't left due to weather problems in Chicago) and I was fortunate enough to get a seat, allowing me to get to O'Hare just in time for the 15:40 connection to Cincinnati. Great!... until I got to O'Hare and found that my connecting flight had been cancelled. "You aren't going to make it to Cincinnati tonight, we've booked you onto the 06:25 tomorrow morning.", was the response. "Can I be put on the standby list for the 18:30 tonight?" "Yes, but we can't be certain you'll get on". I took my chance, went to the gate and, lo and behold, got a guaranteed seat.

So I went to grab some dinner and, now slightly less irritable, went to my new gate to find that, joy unbounded, the 18:30 was now cancelled. Back to customer services... "We've transferred you onto the 10:45 tomorrow morning." "Is there another flight this evening?" "One more, at 20:50, but it's completely full." "Put me on standby anyway".

More delays later, and at 21:15, I get lucky again, a seat has come up because half of the passengers due to connect onto it haven't made it into Chicago. The bad news is that the plane is delayed, and delayed, and delayed until 22:25. At least this one actually takes off and I make it into Cincinnati at 00:45, nearly seven hours later than planned...

But at least I'm here, and got to spend the day at the world-famous Cincinnati Zoo, America's second oldest. It was a bit cold, but they have some great exhibits, including their manatees, who are rather special.

Back into town for some of the local delicacy, chili. Cincinnati is famous for this, with at least two major chains of chili parlours, whose penetration of the market beyond the surrounding counties is virtually non-existent. I haven't worked out why this should be, but their chili, served over linguine, is very good. If you're ever in the neighbourhood, Skyline is apparently better than Gold Star...

Would it surprise you to hear that...

... the Museum of American Constitutional Government is closed due to reconstruction work. And who said that Americans have no sense of irony?

Faceless bureaucrat in the city

Whilst it isn't very early in the morning, the five hour time difference makes it feel as though it is. Yes, you're right, I'm on the move again, attending another family wedding, this time, my second cousin, Leon (It was his elder brother who got married in Mumbai in December). Leon has managed to reintroduce Judaism back into the family after I carelessly misplaced Rachelle, and he and Patti get married on Sunday, here in New York.

My hotel room is very impressive, with a computer and free internet access, thus allowing me to blog my way through the weekend and catch up with some paperwork (sad, or what?).

New York doesn't change. Despite my being a fairly adventurous traveller, I still find myself drawn to the concrete canyons of this place, looking up until my neck hurts. It really is an amazing place. Tomorrow, I'm hoping to do a little shopping before the rehearsal dinner and drinks at the Heartland Brewery afterwards. I got in a little practice earlier (practice makes perfect!) and can recommend both their wheat beer and their Irish red.

Looking back in confusion and regret

In hindsight, and with the benefit of reflection, I feel somewhat cheated. It appears that my faith in the honour and decency of some of our party's most senior figures might have been ill-judged and, by exhibiting an unhelpful degree of naivety, I may well have prejudiced the very cause I had hoped to promote.

You will recall that I had been surprised by the two amendments that were chosen for debate. One, on monitoring, came as a surprise only because I was not informed that it had been taken for debate. As James Graham rightly reminds me, I had been warned about it in advance and, putting aside my personal misgivings about monitoring for sexuality and religion, I certainly accepted the basic principle of collecting data so that progress might be quantified.

The second, proposed by Simon Hughes, our illustrious Party President, was obviously tabled with the knowledge and support of our Chief Executive, who demonstrated once again, if proof were needed, his mastery of internal politics. I was warned, albeit probably too late to do anything about it. And even, had I been able to credibly attack it, I didn't have enough 'backstory' to successfully do so, especially after arriving in the hall to find that Navnit Dholakia's speech already included a statement of acceptance. For the record, I only discovered this by reading his speech over his shoulder (and he didn't know that I was there at the time). The response to his intervention from my readership and the wider blogosphere is, thus far, a long way short of impressed.

And so they were both passed. Unfortunately, I am now left in the uncomfortable position of hoping for the best, and fearing the sort of invidious sabotage that the Federal Executive tends towards when Conference wants something that it doesn't.

It pains me to have to make a statement like this publicly, and I will happily recant if the review produces something effective and timely (bear in mind that winnable seats are selecting already, and wasn't the whole purpose of the exercise to get black and ethnic minority MP's elected?). But either the auguries aren't promising or my more pragmatic friends are overly cynical. Experience tends towards the former.

Gentlemen, prove me wrong...

Live from the Harrogate Conference Centre!

And so I threw myself into a heady social whirl that is Federal Conference. There I was, minding my own business, when Francesca Marritt, from the Campaign for Gender Balance, told me that there were in fact two amendments to my motion. It might have been nice if someone had told me... Francesca was behind one of them, on monitoring, and I had no fundamental objection to a voluntary, opt-in scheme, so that was alright. On the other hand, the amendment from Simon Hughes looked like a ploy to delay matters, or worse, screw the Campaign for Gender Balance. What to do? And besides, who was moving the motion?

The answer was not long in coming. "You're doing it, Mark.", said Flick, our Regional Administrator and eminence grise. "Really?", I replied, slightly confused. "Yes, really." "Fine, I'd better write a speech then...".

So I retreated to my lonely garret on the third floor and wrote a speech. It didn't take that long, as the arguments have been running on continuous loop in the back of my mind for months. And then back to the bar for a little refreshment. Alright then, quite a lot of refreshment (it is conference, after all). Chris Rennard assured me that there was no hidden agenda behind Simon's amendment and I took his word as a gentleman (he is a baron, after all...).

A reasonable amount of sleep later (five hours is very reasonable for a Federal Conference), I got up and prepared for my first ever meeting of English Candidates Committee. To most observers, these meetings would seem astonishingly dull (and parts of this one were a bit, I must admit) but the subject matter and the implications are huge. It would probably have helped had I brought the papers issued to me two weeks earlier but I've been a bit preoccupied of late.

At 10.45, I sneaked out to head to the auditorium, arriving in time to hear Vince Cable describe my employers as being in chaos. Alright, I'm not wildly impressed with the way HM Revenue and Customs is run, but things really aren't that bad. I've got some nice filing in our Twickenham office that he might be able to help with...

And so, a little behind schedule, my moment in the spotlight arrived. I walked onto the platform, stood behind the podium, feeling not a little lonely and isolated, and gave my speech. It was an odd sensation, and I had the impression of being oblivious to all of the usual sensory cues, but I said all of the things that I wanted to say, didn't stumble over the words too often, and got some applause at the end. I even managed to air my concerns over both amendments.

The other speeches came and went, for and against a summit meeting, mostly in favour of monitoring and, after the summation from Navnit Dholakia, who formally accepted both amendments, the motion was overwhelmingly passed. I hurried back to English Candidates Committee, just in time to be appointed to a Working Group, set up to review the guidance notes for Returning Officers. I then reported back to the meeting as to what had happened.

So my motion has passed. A concrete commitment to do something has been wrung from the powers that be and we will have to see what emerges from the review that has been promised. It isn't a victory, far from it, but we might actually have taken the first small step towards changing the public face of our Party. I would be kind of proud if that turned out to be the case...

And the band plays on...

It appears that the Right Honourable Member of Parliament for Dulwich and West Norwood's ongoing audition for a lead role in one of the less salubrious soap operas continues. The story so far...

David and Tessa love each other. Tessa has risen from being a psychiatric social worker to being a senior member of her friend Tony's government, whilst David has a successful legal career, helping people to manage their financial affairs. He's so good at this that Tessa trusts him entirely to manage their household finances. He does ask her to sign the occasional document but she trusts him, even though some of the numbers are quite big. He knows what he's doing, after all...

But what Tessa doesn't know is that David has another life as an international wheeler dealer, and that some of the people he advises are not the sort of people who she might want to be associated (although her friend Tony on the other hand...). They are very generous towards him but there's nothing wrong with the odd gift, is there? It is vaguely troubling that the Italian authorities keep asking to see David, but it isn't as though we have any connection to the Italian government. We do? Really? I really must ask my friend Jack. And they're somewhat to the right of Genghis Khan? Well, that doesn't make them bad people...

Suddenly, all these ghastly people with cameras are outside the house, asking questions about mortgages. What is their problem? Why do they suggest that helping rich people pay as little tax as possible is contrary to the supposed principles of her political party? And why is David so irritable?

He's used my position to gain influence? He's told people that he has the support of my friend Tony? How could he do that? Does he not understand what people will say about me? And, more importantly, about Tony? Tony is going to be so angry! It's no good, it's all over between us, or at least, so I'm told...

Alright, this might be a bit of an exaggeration. But the fact that David Mills makes his money by helping rich people to avoid paying their fair share in taxes is morally repugnant. And if Tessa Jowell doesn't understand that by doing so, she ensures that the money has to be found from somewhere, and that that somewhere is from people who don't have access to tax avoidance devices, i.e. the poor and the morally upright, then she has no right to stand up and say how much she cares about building a fairer society. I'm sorry about her marriage, and nobody deserves to have their relationship dissected by the Daily Mail, but she really does need to resign so that she can take a course of morality and ethics.

Gorillas in the mist

Sorry about the absence of reports. I couldn't blog from Harrogate (I don't own a laptop and the computers in the conference centre didn't appear to like www.blogger.com). And so, where were we?

I went up to Harrogate on Thursday evening, and had a fairly pleasant train journey apart from the idiot who had decided to occupy my reserved seat and set up his computer. Politely noting that he was in my seat, he asked if I minded giving up my window seat so that he could use his computer. Pointing out that I did mind, having wanted a window seat, he then asked if he could trail his cables across me. I wasn't wildly keen to be used as a cable tidy but consented, not wanting to appear churlish, only to then watch as he used the wretched gadget to listen to music. Get an iPod, loser!... I drove him away eventually, though.

Friday morning was spent doing some light shopping at Gap. I like their chinos and some of their brighter coloured shirts (faceless bureaucrat does peacock), and needed a couple of extra bits of wardrobe for the weekend. Next to the Turkish Baths to get some information and then to a rather nice barber shop for a haircut, beard trim and general refurbishment before dropping off my shopping at the hotel. The weather was lovely, with bright sunshine, although it was a mite brisk.

The Turkish Baths are fascinating. I turned up, paid my £13, and was escorted to the changing rooms for a brief explanation of how it all works. Friday afternoons are gentlemen only, leading to a general lack of clothing. I'm not the most svelte person in the world, tending more to walrus than giraffe, but I've learned to be fairly relaxed about my imperfections and strolled into the wonderfully restored hot room. I was a little disconcerted by the gentleman who followed me into the steam room, though. He had enough metal piercings in his genitalia to set off metal detectors... as far away as Leeds Bradford Airport... and I'm wondering how he gets on when he travels overseas...

I spent a very pleasant two hours or so, alternating between the various rooms and the steam rooms before heading back to the hotel to mingle with the newly arriving delegates. Imagine my surprise on discovering that two inches of snow had been depositing on Harrogate whilst I was gently broiling...

Freedom 4 Belarus

This new campaign, launched by the International Committee of Liberal Democrat Youth and Students (LDYS), has been brought to my attention recently.

As a former International Officer (1989-1990) of one of their constituent predecessors, the Young Liberal Democrats of England, I am delighted to see the organisation roused from years of apparent slumber to campaign on something fundamentally unsexy yet morally principled. The Belarus regime, and there is no other way of describing it, is a reminder of the very worst of the Soviet Union, with secret police and a repressive government led by a man who is almost certainly responsible for the death, torture and imprisonment of those who campaign within the country for democracy and the sorts of freedoms that we take for granted.

They ask for people to show their support by placing a lighted candle in a window on the night of 19th March and, if I was in the country, instead of on an aeroplane, I would certainly do it myself, despite the risk of one of my more stupid cats melting their whiskers on it.

We often get cynical about politics and, heaven knows, there is often good cause, but this is an instance where those leading the campaign stand to gain nothing from this but a sense of doing the right thing. I wish them the very best of luck for what will hopefully be a short and successful campaign...

Apologia (bureaucrat + emotion = malfunction)

It is often unwise to blog in a moment of self-indulgence, even more so when you're tired, weary and a mite low. So it is at least a mercy that my quirky sense of catholic guilt is engaged...

In fairness to Tom Brake, he doesn't even know that he's been invited to take up the mover's speech, so I really shouldn't criticise him for a predicted lack of understanding. Whoever briefs him on this point is sure to give him all of the necessary information.

I shouldn't really criticise the Regional Executive either. I invited them to make a decision and they did so. I could have argued my corner but didn't, a valuable lesson for all of you wallflowers out there. We are talking about politicians, remember, they like winning. Me, I like winning too but hate being seen to be pushy about it (alright, go figure...). That's why I'm a faceless bureaucrat.

And most important of all, this should be about more than just self. The whole idea of encouraging the Party to think about diversity issues and then do something about it is that we demonstrate our seriousness about making ourselves reflect the communities we aim to represent.

And on that note, it's time to get ready for Harrogate.

Apparently, it's alright to be disappointed

Never let it be said that politicians, be they elected or otherwise, are without ego. And I'm no exception...

Having worked quite hard to get my motion on diversity, I nobly invited the Regional Executive to decide who should move the motion and summate the debate. Mistake number 1. The view was that the motion should be moved by a middle-aged white MP, the decision taken being to ask Tom Brake, the MP for Carshalton and Wallington. He's younger than I am... not exactly a balm for morale. With Navnit Dholakia lined up to summate (and I'm pleased to note that he has accepted), I miss my moment in the spotlight unless I put a speaker's card in and get called. Frankly, it sucks... big time.

I understand the politics of it all, the logic being that you need to get support from those who stand to lose most from the proposed reforms, and support it in principle. On the other hand, the idea of handing large chunks of the credit to someone who has had no involvement and offered no support, and probably won't even know who wrote the motion in the first place (or why), is hardly an encouragement towards altruism.

It is, of course, my fault. I freely offered up the decision to my colleagues, thinking that, as I had used the Regional Party as the vehicle to get the motion to Federal Conference, I should allow the Regional Executive the opportunity to decide on strategy - and they do know what they're talking about. However, I foolishly thought that my role to date might gain me some consideration. Mistake number 2...

Ah well, I'm just going to have to accept that the warm glow of satisfaction that comes from doing the right thing must suffice. Really, it's enough to make you cynical... If you're in Harrogate, do turn up and vote this through, it matters.