Harrogate : Day 1 - Finding the perfect outfit

Of course, Ros is deep in preparation for Conference. Walk throughs, briefing meetings, rehearsals, committee meetings and all of those things that ordinary Conference attendees never even know about.

However, there are responsibilities for the First Spouse too. I have to look fragrant, smile sweetly and look as though I am delighted to meet everyone. The latter task is easy, as there are very few people in the Party that I would cross the street to avoid (and most of them don't know who they are either...).

However, when one is more walrus-like than sylph-like, the 'looking fragrant' role is more complex. Of course, I could cheat and send my kid brother to take my place - a kind of stunt double. He's taller, better looking, has a quirky style which sounds like a train wreck but works for him (we are talking about someone who managed to look good in a Black Watch tartan suit). He's kept his hair and is going grey in a glamorous, interesting way. I should hate him but he's a great guy.

However, I'm told that people can tell us apart and, worse still, too many people know who I am. Besides, I couldn't send Kirk to English Candidates Committee. He doesn't deserve that kind of punishment...

So, it's time to polish up. First to Steca's for a haircut. At least my hair will be in good order, and I enjoy the banter of a good barber.

Next, an suit. I've brought one with me but need a new one anyway. Yes, it's an expense, but I'm having dinner with Howard Dean this evening and so I need to look like an adult. Not blue, but grey, I think. Dark grey for preference, as I'm not sure that light colours really suit me. Time to go shopping, methinks...