Lessons for Local Party Secretaries: no. 8 - the black arts

Of course, Secretaries aren’t always the kindly person sitting in a corner with a set of coloured pens, faithfully recording every utterance and smiling in an encouraging manner at the Chair. There is, of course, the risk that your Local Party couldn’t administrate itself out of a brown paper bag with the aid of satellite navigation.

You will, as Secretary, encounter colleagues who can irritate to Olympic standards. A few years ago, one of my colleagues would assiduously circulate his report in advance, and then, in the meeting, equally assiduously read the entire report out. After a couple of meetings, I interrupted him, seeking clarification that he was adding new material not already reported. My colleague never did it again and, given that he’s gone on to become Chair of the English Party, he clearly wasn’t too badly traumatised… Sarcasm, irony and the occasional flash of barbed wit will make people stop and think, and allow you to influence their behaviour - in a good way, of course.

Understanding the constitution gives a Secretary a real advantage, and I strongly commend reading it. Quote from it frequently in your early meetings as Secretary and people will assume that you know it off by heart - even if you don’t. Let them believe that, and when you really need to get something done, you can use that perceived knowledge to get something you really want, or stop someone from doing something you don’t like. Trust me, they won’t have read the constitution, so even if you’re making it up, they won’t know.

Of course, as I mentioned earlier, you control information, and your minutes, as the only contemporaneous record, frame the perception of events. By emphasising one view over others, you can convince waverers of the rightness of the position reached, or otherwise, if you didn’t get your way. You can, by selectively quoting individuals, impact on their credibility by only quoting them when they’re on the losing side (if you don’t like them) or only when they are on the side of truth, beauty and good administration (that’s your side, by the way).

I will finish with a quotation from Niccolo Machiavelli who wrote, “The prince must think about how to keep his minister good, honouring him, enriching him, making him feel a sense of obligation, sharing honours and responsibilities with him…”. For prince, read Chair, for minister, read Secretary…