Monday, February 02, 2009

In Today's Super Soaraway Snow!

BRITISH SNOWMEN GIVE COLD SHOULDER TO MIGRANT WORKERS

Snowmen in Cumbria went on a go-slow in protest against the decision by local children to build snowmen using snow imported from Eastern Europe. A spokesman said, "These snowmen blow in from Poland and Lithuania, taking our jobs. The Government should act now!".

A Government spokesman said in response, "We believe that freedom of movement within the European Union has been good for the UK economy. There is nothing stopping British snowmen from plying their profession in Greece or Italy, or even French Guiana. If they're able to lodge competitive tenders, I have no doubt that British snowmen are the best in the world. Indeed, since 1997, numbers of snowmen in the workforce have increased by 6.32%.

David Cameron, for the Conservatives, claimed that, "The Labour Party have failed our snowmen. If elected, we would ask Richard Whiteley to chair a commission to come up with some ideas for reform of the snow personnel sector.". When told that Mr Whiteley had sadly passed away some time ago, he was dragged away by Ken Clarke before he could respond.

NEW PEER IN CASH FOR SUGGESTION PROBE SHOCKER!

Baroness Snout of Snow-on-the-Wold, 38-26-36, pictured above in her bikini, was condemned today for suggesting that the use of snowploughs in these horror snowstorms would be a good idea, despite the fact that her ex-husband's sister-in-law knew a bloke in the pub who owned shares in a snow clearance company.

Chris Huhne, the Liberal Democrat spokesman for Home Affairs immediately demanded a full police enquiry, "This is yet another example of corrupt practice in the House of Lords. Action must be taken to clean up these practices immediately.".

THE SNOW SAYS!

It is time for the Government to act to stop foreign weather from denying the British people from enjoying our typical wet, grey winters, and making us to accept a climate forced us by faceless Eurocrats in Brussels.

Gordon Brown, we want our British weather back!

1 comment:

Duncan Borrowman said...

It is not european weather. It is scottish weather forced on us by McBroon and McDarling.