There isn't enough popcorn in the entire world...

I ought to admit now that my expectations for the election, from a Liberal Democrat perspective, were pretty low. Like the experts, I was fearing net losses and, if you had offered me a nil gain, nil loss outcome at 9.55 on Thursday night, I would have taken your hand off at the elbow.

That wasn't because I thought we'd run a bad campaign. Far from it, I was quietly impressed with what was said and done. Perhaps I had grown weary with the years of disappointment and loss.

But I tuned into the BBC's election night special to check on the exit poll figures, only to find that it perhaps wasn't going to be as bad as I might have feared. You know, the triumph of hope over experience  and all that. It wasn't right though, was it?

And now we know that what was probably the worst election campaign by a ruling party in living memory achieved its utterly deserved denouement, failing even to achieve a majority. My night was spent with a sense of cheerfulness that I wouldn't have expected a few hours earlier, as Theresa May melted down before our very eyes. I admit, it felt good, despite our losses in Southport and Sheffield Hallam. The wins were that little bit sweeter, Jo in East Dumbartonshire, Wera in Bath, Jamie in Caithness and best of all, Layla in Oxford. Vince and Ed, Norman and Tom, Tim surviving a nail biter and Christine in Edinburgh West, and all against a backdrop of Conservative disappointment.

This has undoubtedly been the worst Conservative administration I have ever experienced. Some may have been more malevolent, but this one has been utterly incompetent, devoid of any vision other than of doing whatever it takes to maintain Party unity. In return, a sizeable number of supposedly moderate Conservative MPs, such as Jo Churchill and Dan Poulter here in mid-Suffolk, went from being publicly pro-Remain to utter silence in the face of a hard Brexit. Principles, anyone?

And now, it appears that the answer to the question, "how many coasters does it take to prop up Theresa's wobbly conservative table?" is ten. What it does for the Good Friday Agreement is anyone's guess.

So, with the Tories now in full-on recrimination mode, a weak, discredited leader and shackled to a bunch of Protestant, socially regressive zealots who also want a soft Brexit, what could possibly go wrong?

I'd be buying shares in a popcorn company, if I were you...