Is it REALLY necessary to be that aggressive?

Perhaps I'm getting old, or perhaps I'm just becoming a better politician, but one of the things that bothers me is the tendency of some people, predominantly men, to do politics as though it is a contact sport, all aggression and playing the man if the ball isn't convenient.

I've had an example today. A colleague, who shall remain nameless, but knows who he is, wrote an e-mail complaining about the behaviour of a third party. That complaint was made to an e-mail list including the person being complained against, in front of all of the people she will be working with in the coming months.

I responded almost immediately, explaining why I thought that such an approach was inappropriate, but it dawned on me that, perhaps, this is the sort of behaviour that discourages people from getting involved in organisations. And I admit that I find it a little depressing, especially as someone who believes that an organisation is at its most effective when everyone who can contribute is given the space to do so.

So, if you find yourself frustrated at a meeting, take a deep breath, count to ten, and ask yourself, "Is losing my temper going to help?". And then, why not calmly, and discreetly, approach the root of your problem, and find out why they are behaving in the way that they are. You may learn something. Of course, it may still mean that you have to kill them, but at least you've tried...