It's hard to escape being seen as just a bureaucrat, when nobody else wants to be one...

Look, I fully understand that this party bureaucracy stuff is quite dull. Actually, some of it makes watching paint dry seem vibrant and thrill-packed, but it has been what I've done in the Liberal Democrats for quite some time. Apparently, I'm quite good at it, although that might be because telling me that is a way of persuading me that I should keep on doing it, making sure that others don't have to.

But it is a bit soul-destroying sometimes. The expectation that things will get done, minutes written, constitutions read and interpreted, the sense that, all around you, people are having fun. And yes, I know that not all of you are out there living it up, that some of you are struggling with casework, or trying to campaign with the tide running against you. But, just occasionally, it seems like you are.

I think that the worst of it is the sense that you're doing it all in a vacuum, only noticed when something goes horribly wrong, and that the things that you work on are otherwise ignored. Worse still, people spend their time complaining about things that happen in the Party yet take no interest in taking the steps that might change them. Why? Because it's bureaucracy, and therefore dull.

Perhaps it is the danger of allowing oneself to be defined by what one does. After all, I am a professional bureaucrat, somewhat politically restricted (how many of you have to ask the permission of a Permanent Secretary to attend Federal Conference?), and I do like a sense of 'ordnung'. But there is a risk that one submerges ones passions beneath a sea of paper, and I'm beginning to get the urge to demonstrate that there is a bit more to me than  has otherwise been on display.

So, a little less bureaucrat, and a bit more 'armchair philosopher' from now on. Don't worry, there will be some bureaucracy, because I can't leave it all to Mr Dr Pack, can I? I might even express an opinion or two...