The Zen of Committee (how not to annoy the Secretary)

I am known to be a fairly placid soul, and so when I suggested to a sympathetic ear this evening that I had a fairly radical proposal to improve future meetings, it was borne of much frustration. And so, whilst it is unlikely that any member of Federal International Relations Committee will read this, this seems like a good time to speak up on behalf of Committee Secretaries everywhere...

The lot of a Secretary is not an exciting one. The drama, assuming that there is any, tends to happen elsewhere. But, if you are one of those people who do the job because it matters (and I acknowledge that many end up in the role because their arm has been twisted), you will, I hope, appreciate what follows. And what follows is some tips to keep your Secretary happy.

1. Keep to deadlines

Your Secretary doubtless has other things to do, and sets deadlines to ensure that he or she can fulfil Constitutional requirements without having to stay up until 1.30 in the morning.

2. Written reports are always better than verbal ones

I hate verbal reports. They require much more effort to record than a circulated paper which can simply be referred to in the subsequent minutes. And if the Secretary has sought written reports in advance, and you choose to ignore that, you are showing disrespect. I take a mafiosi style view of disrespect.

3. Do not read out your written report

The Committee can read. Really, they can. They have all sorts of skills if you give them a chance, and the whole point of circulating your report in advance is so that they can read it. If they choose not to, that's their problem, and I have a tendency to heckle people who ask questions that were answered in the document they chose not to read.

4. Read the reports circulated to you in advance

Do as you would be done by. See also point 3.

5. If you want to raise something, put it on the agenda

There is nothing more dispiriting than reaching the end of an agenda when, at the point where 'Any Other Business' is reached, there is a deluge of items for discussion. Your gallant Secretary is tired, having had to be alert throughout the meeting, and the chances are that everyone wants to go home, or to the pub, or somewhere.

But if you are going to raise something that isn't already on the agenda, do try and warn the Secretary in advance so that he or she can ensure that business is moved along and that there is sufficient time to air the issue properly.

6. The agenda is not for turning

Raising items out of turn is not helpful. It makes the minutes disjointed, confuses the flow of a meeting and flusters the Secretary. I put my heart and soul into that agenda, and you just toss it aside like a used handkerchief...

So, remember these six points and you will make your Secretary's life happier and more fulfilled. Remember, a Secretary is for a full term of office, not just for Christmas...