Alright, you knew that someone was going to start to take an interest in the Fantasy Football eventually, and those of you who hate these things might want to look away now, as they used to say on a Saturday evening before Match of the Day was on.
This week saw the first round of the Fantasy Cup, and with ninety-seven of the Liberal Democrat League's participants surviving Week 17's qualifying round, there were the prospects for a decent number of survivors, especially given the form shown by some of our leading exponents of the beautiful game thus far. And so it turned out, with fifty-six winners and forty-one losers on a weather-decimated weekend.
Given that only three 'real' matches beat the freeze, teams scouring the relative bargain basement for players from teams such as Sunderland were far better off than those focussing on the big six, only one of whom played (and don't Manchester City wish that they hadn't?). That meant plenty of potential for the top sides to be ambushed by minnows with a bit of luck, and a random element not sought after by those who have put a lot of trouble into their selections.
So, here are some of the highlights from the first round;
Easiest victories
Nick Davies's 'Wenger's 2nd XI' blew their opponents, 'Tripp United', out of the water, 36 - 0, but that's what you should do to a team ranking nearly a million places below you. On the other hand, David Powell's 'Beedophiles' 36 -5 thrashing of Marts Yellow Army, ranking one hundred thousand places better, and in the top quintile to boot, was probably very satisfying indeed.
Most effortless victories
In a week when the average score was just fourteen, it was quite possible to beat your opponent by getting a player onto the pitch at all. James Staff's 'Realpolitick' probably didn't even need to do that, defeating 'Astros' 4 - -4 (when the only player in your squad to see action gets sent off, that's never going to end well). At least Andrew Dandilly's 'Keith' had to defeat opponents who scored more than zero, even if 'Olympiakos' still went down 5 - 2.
The top guns
Some unexpected defeats in the first round saw the demise of Ryan Cullen's 'Artesea Athletic', beaten 4 - 17 by 'pluckyfish.com', and the Chair of Federal Conference Committee, Andrew Wiseman's 'Wiseman Wanderers', beaten 7 - 31 by 'Urgi'. Both sides went into their fixtures ranked in the top 12,000 globally (to give you an idea as to just how good that is, it ranks them in the top 0.5%) and would have fancied the prospects of a decent cup run.
Meanwhile, league leading Alick Cotterill's 'The Welsh Wanglers' glided past lowly 'Danson Queens' 32 - 4, and Charlie Garnett's 'Waa Hageeg' scraped past 'Relegation 10/11' by the odd point in 41. On rankings alone, it shouldn't have been close, until you noted that the opposition had only entered the league in week 13...
MP corner
Just in case the Daily Telegraph are eavesdropping, John Leech's 'Mike's Dodgy Beard' beat 'Dingle FC' 25 -14, and Adrian Sanders' 'Torquay Utd' scraped through 6 - 0 against 'Leijona Jonna'.
And finally, classic Liberal Democrat underdog victories...
To be honest, most of the teams near the bottom of the Liberal Democrat Fantasy League are there because they're rubbish. Harsh, I know, but true. So, we should celebrate their successes.
The weakest team in the league, and one that, with the exception of the reserve goalkeeper, appears to consist entirely of Scots, is R Provan's 'The Huhney Monsters'. Ranked 2,187,831 against opponent 'mudhaFC', ranked 290,070, you wouldn't have given them much of a chance, but by pulling off a 14 - 9 victory, the plucky minnow lives to fight another day.
But for sheer nail-biting randomness, how about Clea Curtis's 'Purple People'? Ranked 2,135,713, her gallant heroes snatched a 23 -23 draw against 'Timooo', ranked 469,271. Goals scored couldn't separate the two teams, but by conceding two goals to her opponent's three, she's snatched a place in the second round.
Author's postscript
And yes, my personal interest remains strong, especially after 'Deportivo Creeting' beat 'Winky Wanderers' 28 - 17...
And so, until next week, cue 'Match of the Day' theme...
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