tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17934023.post8310171787959676354..comments2024-03-20T12:28:00.031+00:00Comments on Liberal Bureaucracy: A message to the Conservative Party - loss, desolation and redemption: how divorce impacts on livesMark Valladareshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773193846795037711noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17934023.post-89989679064168782472007-09-05T12:57:00.000+01:002007-09-05T12:57:00.000+01:00I know it sounds cheesy but, genuinely, thanks for...I know it sounds cheesy but, genuinely, thanks for sharing.<BR/><BR/>Your point about not talking and expressing how you are feeling hit home with me. <BR/><BR/>It was the only bit of prenuptial advice we had from our wedding vicar. And ignoring the advice was probably the biggest mistake I've made.<BR/><BR/>Still holding it together but these things are never as easy as it looks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17934023.post-35799833346286719482007-07-20T13:52:00.000+01:002007-07-20T13:52:00.000+01:00St. Paul was the first born again Christian and as...St. Paul was the first born again Christian and as such a very committed man. In his letter to the Corinthians he talks about love very movingly and if you were sober enough to listen, this tribute to love is quoted in most wedding services. <BR/> <BR/>In real life this sort of unconditional love is rare, except perhaps in the way a mother looks on her infant child. Even here love can curdle up and die. The price of love is love that is returned and some scientists believe that we fall in love with someone because they love us and confuse their image of ourselves with some emotion for them. If that sounds like psycho babble then its probably because it is.<BR/> <BR/>Love is rarely even handed and in most relationships, one person tends to care more deeply than the other. Dorothy Parker said it best:<BR/> <BR/>“Just when you say you’re his, shivering and sighing,<BR/>And he swears his love is infinite, undying, Lady make a note of this.<BR/>One of you is lying”.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17934023.post-36691408889802186732007-07-20T11:54:00.000+01:002007-07-20T11:54:00.000+01:00As someone who has had the experience of divorce, ...As someone who has had the experience of divorce, I found it very moving to read your open account. One of the things I am personally grateful for is that divorce has lost it's stigma. Nowadays, few people express hostility towards divorced people than ever before - and rightly so. Divorce is a path that one doesn't follow unless one feels that it is unavoidable - a lesser of two evils when going on with the marriage is no longer a viable option. This is why I am deeply suspicious of politicians moralising about marriage and divorce. It is not for the state to persuade me that I should get or stay married. I am happily married today - I am not 'down on marriage' - but that is our personal choice and the state should keep right out of it!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17934023.post-46735544184377839172007-07-18T00:59:00.000+01:002007-07-18T00:59:00.000+01:00Hi Mark,That takes some courage to put to blog you...Hi Mark,<BR/>That takes some courage to put to blog your innermost thoughts and feelings so objectively and without playing the blame game. It is a pity when a relationship ends, yet I do believe that like falling in love, it invovles two people to end it too, so don't be too hard on yourself. The pity is when the fallout from such a breakup ends up being the cause of further breakups, and so the cycle of pain and misery continues influencing many lives beyond your world, reaching faces in far away unknown places. I hope the same may one day be true for new loves found , andone day may also reach those very far away unnown places and spread a little bit of happiness around. I am gald to know you Faceless Bureaucrat, you may think you are not the emotional type, but you hold in highest esteem, the meaning of your felings deeply and would prove to be a tower of strenght in the face of adversity. Keep hangign in there.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17934023.post-35587439486745352182007-07-17T09:22:00.000+01:002007-07-17T09:22:00.000+01:00MarkThat is exactly why this Tory policy will not ...Mark<BR/><BR/>That is exactly why this Tory policy will not work. Divorce may be at an all time high, but this suggested policy does not legislate for the family that can no longer live together because their lives have changed.<BR/><BR/>My ex husbands laughs at my career path, not in a horrid way, but just as someone who would never have coped in doing the political rounds and being the political husband.<BR/><BR/>No tax allowance would have made our relationship work. Our children are now better off having two parents who love them and show them how grown ups really behave, rather than parents rowing all the time.<BR/><BR/>Thank you for a very moving post,<BR/><BR/>Kind regards<BR/><BR/>SusanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17934023.post-41017404706211847522007-07-17T06:20:00.000+01:002007-07-17T06:20:00.000+01:00Thanks for this, Mark. I *never* talk about relati...Thanks for this, Mark. I *never* talk about relationships but when I force myself to it yields benefits. <BR/><BR/>PS - I think that if, for example, you'd attended the same fringe events as I did at Conservative Party conference last year, you wouldn't be in doubt that conservatives certainly do care about society.Praguetoryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16520923731691837948noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17934023.post-37129131454170909832007-07-16T22:36:00.000+01:002007-07-16T22:36:00.000+01:00Hi MarkThat sounds horribly familiar to something ...Hi Mark<BR/><BR/>That sounds horribly familiar to something I went through, though sounds like you had it far worse. I can well empathise with the thing about not talking things through for fear of confrontation - and then letting go without a fight, first through shock and then through an understanding that the relationship is already sunk.<BR/><BR/>Glad you're able to talk about it like this, and I have even more respect for you now I've read your piece.<BR/><BR/>Best wishes,<BR/>A friendAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17934023.post-37978483245600172472007-07-16T18:53:00.000+01:002007-07-16T18:53:00.000+01:00Wow... Thanks for opening up like this Mark.I have...Wow... <BR/><BR/>Thanks for opening up like this Mark.<BR/><BR/>I haven't anything profound to say, except it'll help me cherish my own wife more, and not take things for granted...Onlinefocus Teamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04380208481112766609noreply@blogger.com